Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
My daughter is on the wait list to see CAMHS as a counsellor suggested she might be have ASD, (high functioning.) She is finding school increasingly difficult particularly friendships (she says she has no- one to play with.) Its really hard to find anyone who will come to play, and even when we do find some-one then she is never invited back to their house. Also maths is hard (she is below the expected standard.) I am really concerned as she says she is dumb, stupid and other such words. She is in tears so often saying she hates school and we have had to stop lots of her outside activities because she comes home very argumentative and aggressive so I think she needs more down time. I am constantly reassuring her and have spoken to the teachers a lot about this which has been going on for over a year. The teacher at the last parents evening said let wait and see..... I then spoke to the special needs teacher who agreed to get more advice from an advisory school but this hasnt happened neither has the ELSA she was promised. I am just wondering when you say enough is enough? I don't want to look for a new school, there are none nearby that are any better than where she is but I do worry about the on-going battle she is having and the effect it is having on her mental well-being.
I would be grateful for any advice.
Thanks
M
Hi maaya
We have soon-to-be 8 year old non ID twins girls one of whom is awaiting assessment for ASD. She is also tearful from school, complains about not having friends, calls herself dumb. He sister is sharp as a razor, gets things straight away, is exceptional at school and we see them branching away from each other academically which is hard to manage.
ASD twin loves being the teacher’s helper and has also recently been allocated a pupil mediator (a girl in year six who helps her sort out friendship issues). These two ideas might be something to explore with your daughter’s school.
I am the girls’ 48 y/o mum awaiting my own formal ASD diagnosis. When I was a kid I can tell you I was really highly strung trying to maintain friendships and much preferred the 1:1 adult interactions I got rather than playtime activities.
I struggled with maths even though I love the logic of it and rules upon which maths is based. I just couldn’t keep up with the pace that it was taught at and needed to go over and over it for it to ‘go in’.
How about using those maths activity books? My ASD daughter loves it when we do maths practice with her and loves the activity books too.
Best wishes
Thanks for taking the time to respond, the school have finally started ELSA and have noticed that makes comments that upsets the other girls in her class. So on a blue non uniform day she said, "you're not wearing blue" and "those are just stick on earings they are not real." which, whilst true probably wasn't appreciated! Apparently she has to ask to play with people but no-one will play with her otherwise. It breaks my heart because I was very similar to her at her age. I am a similar age to you and was diagnosed at 41, so good luck with the diagnosis.
Have started doing some very basic maths with her (year 1) which is so unlike what she is doing in school, because she is so far behind, that she doesn't mind!
Can anyone recommend any books that can help her with social skills? I've heard of the curly hair books but not sure if the social one is 7 year old friendly?
Maaya