Published on 12, July, 2020
I am here today as I am struggling a lot myself. I feel I have no one to talk to. It’s not easy to say what I need to say to people who are not in my situation. I’m scared for the future of my daughter and I love her very much but I really dislike her behaviour and the effect she is having on our family, she is breaking us. I also feel she's purposefully pushing all the buttons to hurt me and I don’t like how I am feeling towards her at the moment, I feel like a terrible mum but all I do is try and care and fight her corner. She just treats me like dirt. I hate the way she makes me feel, I didn’t set about to have a family to feel like this about my own child.
Yesterday she was so bad I stayed in my bedroom all afternoon, I’ve been to the doctor as I am struggling with sleep myself now, last week I didn’t want to get in my car because I was scared I would crash it into a wall. I really don’t like the feelings I have about her, it’s either going well (when she’s out of her comfort zone) or just a horrendous negative situation fuelled by her nastiness to everyone around her
I know I need to be managing this and taking control and being the strong grown up but I cannot cope with it at the minute and i need some support but don’t know where to get it ? I really need some help.
Mum on a mission :) said:She hasn’t discussed in detail but she has said some of her friends like boys or girls and she isn’t interested in Boys or girls.
She will feel increasingly apart from her peer group if this is the case, although she is still very young (especially emotionally, if she is autistic).
I'm 37 and have only just discovered the term 'asexual', which describes me perfectly, but around 70% of people with autism identify as non-heterosexual, so it's really not as unusual as it may appear. I do wish someone had told me about other sexual identities as a teenager but these things were far less mainstream back then; it would have prevented a lot of hurt and sexual trauma as a result of going through the motions, trying to be like everyone else.
Honestly, though, I don't know at what age the average person becomes aware of their sexuality, but 12 sounds quite young to me. Many of them may just be copying what older siblings, cousins etc. are saying to sound grown up, which is a ridiculous concept to anyone who is autistic i.e. saying something that is not a fact in order to create an artificial bond with people who would otherwise leave you alone.