Can anyone relate to being married to a guy with Aspergers and feeling like his carer? Feel so lonely in our relationship and unless we do what motivates him or talk about his hobbies we literally don’t talk or spend time together. Don’t want to use this forum to moan as he really is a kind hearted guy but I just feel so unimportant, forgotten and alone.
Have you considered how you come across to him?
Please forgive me if I say something that comes across incorrectly, but Aspies tend to be eternal children looking for life to be simple (no chaos, stress or hassle) and looking for fun and the sparkle in all that they do.
Have you looked at what you do that makes him lose interest in engaging with you?
What fun things did you used to do that brought you together?
It's unlikely that his views have changed so is it the fact that you have 'grown up' and left him behind the problem?
Do you have hobbies and an interesting life to spark his interest? (if all you want to do is watch Eastenders then he probably won't join you on the sofa).
If you step back into his world, you might find he's 100% still there for you.
This is spot on, imo.
I am no expert in relationships, but have seen a few including my own hitting some difficulties. There is always a way to recover and reconnect, if one go about it in the right way.
Re-igniting the fun, the nonchalance, the connection is essential. It can happen through shared adventures, experiences, travel, ideas you both care about.
What were you talking about when you were dating, what made you to decide you could get together for life? There should have been some common values and themes that are important and interesting for both of you. Why not talking about that?
I think aspies are interested in ideas. Do you talk about ideas?
(Eastenders and Kim Kardashian being examples of things that kill all the fun, but even that could be talked about as ideas of the absurd taking over the world, lol.. just in a manner of speaking)
Does he work? Do you talk about his work?