Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all, I have a 9 yo dd who I have suspected from babyhood to be on the spectrum but Iv ignored and tried to manage symptoms on my own (badly). She is high functioning but I wonder if there are any benefits in seeking a diagnosis when she has no learning disability or physical impairments. she is a high achiever at school but I just am worried that I don't have the knowledge or tools for her as she enters her teens.
Without a diagnosis, I would not have been able to access the support I needed to sit my A level and university exams when my sensory issues and phobias became too great for me to sit them in a conventional exam hall with other students. Academic ability alone will not necessarily guarantee an individual can complete their education, and sensory problems can intensify in autistic individuals as they get older and social dynamics/environments become more complicated. If your daughter ever were to hit some kind of 'crisis' point and need immediate support, her diagnosis may help her to access the right kind of support as quickly as possible. (Imagine having to go through the process of pursuing a diagnosis to get access to support while she is in some kind of meltdown because of an unexpected situation.)
I just don't want her labelled. She already feels different to her peers and i worry that a autism label will make her feel worse. Also school have no idea and I doubt that if they had to file a report for multi disciplinary for diagnosis they would concur that she shows no symptoms. She tells me she holds it in all day and then let's it all out (like a hurricane) at home. Biggest issues are sensory, rituals, obsessive interests, poor friendships, emotionally immature (she's 9 but my 5 year old would have more emotional maturity) she has a subtle tick, she is withdrawn at times and very full on at other times. she suffers massive anxiety when we have to go anywhere. Birthday parties are a no go. Any type of change in routine can be overwhelming for her. Yet in school she just goes with it. I'm so lost.
As binary has said this is quite common in girls, my daughter only shows minor things in school and bottles it up until she gets home, I am lucky that our school senco is supporting us as she understands masking and the long term implications that it can have, try talking to your senco you might find them equally as supportive.
As for not wanting a label, this is an argument I had with my partner when our daughter was 2, at this point we could see she was different but he didn't want her labeled as he was worried people would judge her before meeting her, so I didn't pursue it, but at 4 and half when she was getting worse he agreed to allow diagnosis. Unfortunately due to several mistakes her referral was not done which we didn't know we waited 2 years and we're then told no refral had been made, so school supported us and sent one to cdc but they rejected it due to wording on referral letter! Spent months putting together iron clad referral for cdc but just been told now she is 8 we have to go to camhs! So starting again gp is supporting this as she witnessed my daughter having a meltdown over waiting times and was familiar with asd so saw what we do and understood that my daughter is capable of masking.
My rambling point is that it can take a long time to get your daughter assessed so starting the process sooner rather than later is a good idea.
Nas has a training module on women and girls it is free until the 1St April I would highly recommended taking a look it can be a real eye opener, also a booklet called "nasen flying under the radar" is quiet informative about girls in school it is also written for schools so give a copy to your daughters school if they haven't seen it
Good luck