Any coping strategies in secondary school?

Hi I'm also new as is my 14yr olds diagnosis, since being told, I have felt moments of guilt for all the times I lost my patience or thought she was pulling a fast one, my daughter is also  suffering with depression and anxiety and is struggling to come to terms with the fact she is different, I fact she has only told 1friend of her diagnosis for fear the others will be mean, she is struggling at school and because its a new diagnosis, it appears some teachers are ignoring her needs, on good days she goes to all her lessons, engages and excels, drives me insane with a current obsessionor hysteria, other days I struggle to get her out of bed let alone to the bus stop those days are days she is sent to isolation or put in detention for being disruptive then follows the eruption of anger and sadness and those are the days I struggle with, if I manage to get her to school, I receive constant text begging to come home telling me she can't cope, it triggers a panic attack and before you know it I'm racked with guilt and the school repeatedly call before  they suggest I pick her up then, theres the dark days where I'm afraid to leave her because she wants to die to give up she feels so alone and looks so broken. As I said at first we have only just been diagnosed, so it's all new but with gcse options looming she is becoming prone to emotional outbursts and I fear it's too late to get the help In school she needs. I was contemplating having her timetable reduced but don't want her to fall behind, is it too late for getting a statement?

It feels like I'm failing her as much as the school, we are both a little lost. 

Hi I'm also new as is my 14yr olds diagnosis, since being told, I have felt moments of guilt for all the times I lost my patience or thought she was pulling a fast one, my daughter is also  suffering with depression and anxiety and is struggling to come to terms with the fact she is different, I fact she has only told 1friend of her diagnosis for fear the others will be mean, she is struggling at school and because its a new diagnosis, it appears some teachers are ignoring her needs, on good days she goes to all her lessons, engages and excels, drives me insane with a current obsessionor hysteria, other days I struggle to get her out of bed let alone to the bus stop those days are days she is sent to isolation or put in detention for being disruptive then follows the eruption of anger and sadness and those are the days I struggle with, if I manage to get her to school, I receive constant text begging to come home telling me she can't cope, it triggers a panic attack and before you know it I'm racked with guilt and the school repeatedly call before  they suggest I pick her up then, theres the dark days where I'm afraid to leave her because she wants to die to give up she feels so alone and looks so broken. As I said at first we have only just been diagnosed, so it's all new but with gcse options looming she is becoming prone to emotional outbursts and I fear it's too late to get the help In school she needs. I was contemplating having her timetable reduced but don't want her to fall behind, is it too late for getting a statement?

It feels like I'm failing her as much as the school, we are both a little lost. 

Sorry for my delayed reply but I wanted to think coldly on the things you were saying to help you at the best: it strikes and moves me a lot because it reminded me very closely what my son and we, his family, have suffered about school and adolescence more.