Suspect my 29 year old daughter is autistic

my daughter is 29 has a daughter who has been diagnosed , and I suspect she als has autism.  Looking for help for her and I , counselling maybe as she falls out with is constantly, abusesive phone call and texts, then next minute very needy and regretful.  This has been going on for years and I think we both need help but where to start.  She is now expecting again and I am so worried for her future.  

Any advice please 

Parents
  • You are quite right to want to intervene in some way to help your daughter. I was in my early 30s, mum to two young children, struggling to cope with depression, when I first had counselling. My relationship with my mother was extremely volatile for reasons I barely understood. The counsellor asked if my mother would attend some of the sessions with me as she thought it would be really helpful. When I approached my mother about this she went berserk, saying that I was accusing her of having been a bad mother. She refused to attend the counselling sessions which felt like a huge rejection.I struggled on for many years never really coping and increasingly alienated from my mother.

    Eventually it reached a point where things started to fall apart and I have just been diagnosed with ASD at the age of 58. My mother's reaction was to ask why I had felt the need to get assessed. I am almost certain she and my dad are autistic too, it's like I have given away some kind of family secret. I am not suggesting you are autistic, but I do think it could be really helpful for you and your daughter to have counselling together. You will both benefit from understanding what makes the relationship between you difficult. Being a mother is extremely demanding so the support you can give her now and in the future is incredibly important. Try and find a counsellor who understands autism, given you believe your daughter may be autisitic. Some sessions together and some sessions individually often works best in relationship counselling.

    Very best wishes.

Reply
  • You are quite right to want to intervene in some way to help your daughter. I was in my early 30s, mum to two young children, struggling to cope with depression, when I first had counselling. My relationship with my mother was extremely volatile for reasons I barely understood. The counsellor asked if my mother would attend some of the sessions with me as she thought it would be really helpful. When I approached my mother about this she went berserk, saying that I was accusing her of having been a bad mother. She refused to attend the counselling sessions which felt like a huge rejection.I struggled on for many years never really coping and increasingly alienated from my mother.

    Eventually it reached a point where things started to fall apart and I have just been diagnosed with ASD at the age of 58. My mother's reaction was to ask why I had felt the need to get assessed. I am almost certain she and my dad are autistic too, it's like I have given away some kind of family secret. I am not suggesting you are autistic, but I do think it could be really helpful for you and your daughter to have counselling together. You will both benefit from understanding what makes the relationship between you difficult. Being a mother is extremely demanding so the support you can give her now and in the future is incredibly important. Try and find a counsellor who understands autism, given you believe your daughter may be autisitic. Some sessions together and some sessions individually often works best in relationship counselling.

    Very best wishes.

Children