Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi Everyone I am new to the forum
my names kayleigh, I have 4 children, 3 boys and 1 girl. Their ages are 10, 4, 3 and 1. My 4 year old has ASD. I was just wondering does anyone ever get down with life just the pressure of it all, the repetitiveness, the meltdowns and behaviour ect? Or is it just me?
Its so bad and extreme sometimes that I feel like I can’t carry on and do this anymore. It’s so draining and I just don’t feel like I have any sort of life. Am always tired, am mentally drained, I have zero energy!
please does this get any easier/better?
Hi Kayleigh. Im new to this forum also. I know exactly how you feel. My son is 9 and has Autism, ADHD, OCD and Anxiety. Life is not easy. I am always tired and mentally drained too. I went on anti depressants over a year ago and i feel much better. Would you consider this. I didnt want to do it but I hit rock bottom and had no choice. However I do have a better quality of life being on them. Its not just you that feels the way you do. You are the same as millions of us out there. I know it doesnt feel like it at times though. It can feel very lonely. X
My son is also getting referred to the ADHD pathway when he’s 5 as they won’t take them til then his paediatrician has said. I always thought with the ASD diagnosis it would open many doors and there would be help but unfortunately I learned this was not the case.
Hi hun. Everyone goes on about how important it is to get the diagnosis, then when you do you have to battle to get any help. I have social services involved but i hate using them. Its one battle after another which is exhausting in itself without having a special needs child to look after too.
Luke was 6 before they would start the ADHD assessments and it took 18 months to get the diagnosis.
I was on anti depressants before but only 40mg where I didnt notice much difference but now I am on 200mg and I am much more in control. I take Sertraline and Ive had no problems with it. Would counselling help you. It works for some but not others.
I know what you mean about no one offering their help. My in laws wont help us. I have my mam and dad but they struggle with Luke as he is quite strong. Could you maybe ask anyone for some support rather than waiting for them to offer. What about your local council? Mine are rubbish and I have constant battles but I do usually get there in the end.
It must be very hard for you as your children are quite young. Could the 10 year old help out a little bit maybe. My daughter helps out but she is 15. I do hope you feel better, its an awful feeling. I cried every day for a year before I finally went on medication. It does make me stronger to battle on to get some help. Maybe consider speaking to your doctor. Take care. Xxxx
Hiya. That sounds a bit more positive. When you get the assessment make sure you exaggerate everything. I know its really hard but you have to make things seem even worse than what they already are.
It would be great if all your children went out as they would have a great time and you could do whatever you wanted. I really hope you qualify as its just what you need.
If all else fails do you maybe have any savings where you could pay for it if you dont manage to get the funding. Definitely try to get the funding first though. Let me know how you get on. Xxx
I live in Liverpool and yes the uk. His paediatrician has done a referral for “safe families” and “fusion” apparently they take the on days out and will even take siblings along so your getting like a proper break but apparently it’s hard to get respite as there’s not much funding for it so hopefully when they do my assessment I qualify for it.
Sounds great what your explaining I would be pleased with 2.5 hours it’s better than nothing at all. Grateful for anything really hun xxx
Hiya. Aw thats awful that your mam wont help. Thats what my in laws are like so I dont ask anymore either.
I contacted the Children with Disabilities Team within Social Services at my Council. They did an assessment and they have a team of Leisure Link workers who take your children out to give parents a break. Luke goes out once a week for 2.5hrs on an evening with one of the workers. I also managed to get 5hrs a week help in school holidays as thats when I struggle the most. She takes him to parks, softplays, meals out etc.
We have a respite centre here and I have just managed to get Luke in there with funding from the Council. Its only 11 days a year but I can use it in school holidays and weekends.
Can I ask whereabouts you live. Are you from the UK? xxx
Hey when I said family support worker, I mean like a worker that comes in and helps the family. Not actual help from my family haha. I don’t really have much to do with my family either.
If you google disability support services in your area or autism support groups. Parent/caters support forums I’m sure you will find some groups you could attend or a number you can phone and receive a bit of support, don’t suffer in silence because how you’re feeling is totally normal and you’re not alone xx
Hi Hun
i have asked family for help to just be told no sorry! Been told no that much that I have stopped asking, I have been on the phone crying to my mum a lot recently and in the past but it seems she’s not interested and lacks a heart as she’s a very cold person. She’s that cold I call her the ice queen. It’s ok though cos there’s always that day when people will need you and you think well no actually because where was you when I needed you most?
Can I ask what can the council do? Xxx