Published on 12, July, 2020
Not impressed I must admit but thats my son to a tee. Goes with the flow, expects things to bend the way he wants etc and will make zero effort to help himself.
We've spent over £500 on private consultant appointments to get him seen and presribed medication. Found out for the last 10 days hes "forgotten" to take it.
Hes almost 15 - I'm absolately bomping mad with him. Surely, at 14/15 he should be able to know the importance of it?
Thanks Kerri - its nice to have a decent reply rather than be called names and accused of having a motive.
"When you spent the money on the appointments did you spend the money to help him or to help yourself?"
With quotes like "Absolute rubbish“ and “pathetic“ when someone offers their opinion and tries to help, and with other comments in that same post, I can see why your son might not be communicating much on this.
You seem to have a very know-it-all attitude. That's bad enough when talking to adults on this forum, but will be worse for your son. He's 14. 14 year olds aren't known for being particularly good at forward planning or understanding the complexities of medical care.
Dear NAS35349,
This must be very frustrating for you. If you'd like to talk about it with someone directly, please feel free to contact the NAS Helpline on 0808 800 4104 (Monday - Thursday 10am-4pm, Friday 9am - 3pm).
Kerri-Mod
People on the spectrum can be a bit blunt at times. We communicate in different ways from other people.
Personally yes but I apologise if you didn't find it helpful.
Actually I do believe you.
OK Fair point. But you won;'t believe how many times I get the same old "you're just doing this because its inconvenient for you".
Do you really think that is a "helpful" comment?
Sorry. I have no idea why you have come here. I assume you are looking for help but that is an assumption on my part.
One final comment before I leave this thread.
You say that "If he came to us and said "Look-its causing me problems" then we'd make another appointment for him to discuss the options. This is the sensible approach." I agree but one of the main problems people have on the spectrum have is communicating. He may not be able to communicate he is having problems - of course he may be forgetting to take them for a whole host of other reasons - and it may be easier for him just to forget to take the medication.
I have no idea how much knowledge of mental health and medication you have. You have come here looking for help and I am trying to help to the best of my ability based on my own experience and yes, since you have mentioned it, my knowledge of mental health and medication.
People not taking prescribed medication is very very very common.
Don't be mad, try to understand his reasons for not taking it. And talk and reason with him.
I think we will have to agree to disagree over this.
I am surprised though I thought you would disagree with my first post and agree with the second not the other way round.
I also accept that most of the time you are only trying to do your best for your son and for the rest of your family and thank you for that if your son is unable to thank you or even if he is.
Absolute rubbish. Yes all medication has side effects but mostly its short-term and not "serious". To decide to not take medication when a qualified consultant has advised it without speaking to them is a bad course of action.
And yes I do know a lot more about mental health and medication that you seem to think I do.
Its not as if hes made an informed choice not to take it. If he came to us and said "Look - its causing me problems" then we'd make another appointment for him to discuss the options. This is the sensible approach.
The idea that sufferers are being forced to do things not for themselves but for the rest of the family is just pathetic to be honest. Heard it all before to be honest. Families are there to help. If you just sit in the corner and refuse to let people help you or listen to PROFESSIONAL advice then thats not going to work.
Taltunes - many thanks for that comment. Nice one.
Hes 14 and doesnt get it. I Hes smashed things up at home, hes struggling in school. Hes got a 4 year old sister who hes been violent with in the past. A mother who hes bigger than and has come close to being violent with.
Of course, I paid all that money out to get him to get some help purely for myself.
Another thing to bear in mind about medication is that most medication has side-effects and only the person taking the medication can decide whether the advantages of taking the medication outweigh the disadvantages - there can be exceptions if someone is extremely suicidal or lacks the capacity to make the decision but neither of these appear to apply to your son.
When you spent the money on the appointments did you spend the money to help him or to help yourself?
Sounds like he does not see any need to take it.
I am similar with my personal hygiene. I see some need for it and will make an effort e.g. if I am getting a lift somewhere and am going to be in the close proximity of others for long periods of time, but I "forget" to do it as you put it if I am not going to be seeing other people.