Ramblings of the mis-wired....

It's been an odd first week at my new job.  Ups and downs.  The people (as in 'clients', but I hate referring to them that way) run the whole gamut, from very quiet and easy to extremely challenging.  One lad in particular, though, is amazing.  The first question he asks everyone new is their date of birth and the year.  He then tells you, with barely a pause, what day of the week it fell on.  He's always right, too.  Astonishing!

Glad there have been positives to the week too. So are you sticking at it next week? 

Happier than I was mid-week.  I wasn't at all sure after the first couple of days.  I found one of the other staff members in particular to be very hard to get on with, but we worked together on Friday and found some common ground.  Partly, of course, it's about getting used to new things and people, and getting to know the people I'm dealing with.  They're much more challenging than ones I've been used to in recent years.  At my last job, they were either very capable or confined to wheelchairs, with very little in between.  Here, they're all mobile.  Some of the more challenging ones are totally focused on one activity, which they do over and over all day long - like listening to the same song all day.  Others are a little more active.  We've had several trips out - to trampolining, putting, bowling.  Next week, I'm off shadow shifts and working alone on 1-1s.  That'll probably be better, actually.  And once I've been added to the company's insurance, I can drive the buses, so I'm likely to be out much more.

On the whole, then, I feel buoyant about it all.  Another couple of weeks and I'll be more certain.  At least I don't have the horrible thing of shift changes and extra hours hanging over me.  I know when the day starts and when it finishes.  That's a big bonus.

I need the bubble...but to be unbubbled...being in here helps, but birdsong and a woodland, a long coastal walk....lying in the grass with a good read and the sound if a distant skylark would be very much welcome.  

My husband can't walk that far ...yards...and he teases me because I am like a dog of its lead when outdoors..I don't drive so land locked most if the time.....constantly urging someone to open the doors of the bird cage! Lol

Well done for the rescue mission, you'd be pleased to see it fly off. I like the sound of your local companions.. would suit me. Both of you switching off in your own ways.. mine feels like a bubble existence too which is fine sometimes and not so fine at others. Would you like it to be more lively and less of a bubble or does the bubble give you chance to recharge? 

Sort off days off are sometimes just about the light relief is needed.

I had to rescue a yearling blackbird from my cat  today ...it flew off after some care from me.., but cross with my cat...my local companions - the blackbirds, robin, wrens, owls, bat and the last remaining house martins...

my OH has been stuck in front of the television today..,so a sort of day off myself...got some space, but a rather quiet bubble existence! X 

Yes I think so. We just had a gentle day. Took flowers to mum's grave,    Had nice Sunday lunch. Then had a look over the hedges to see what farming going on. I planted some cuttings I'd taken from dad's garden and now just shooed a puss cat away as curious about my guinea pig. I used to be able to let them run free range in the garden but not any more .. still like to let him graze a bit tho. Sort of had a day off.. 

Dad ok? You ok? 

glad to hear it... x

Stepped down from duties now....the weekend starts here! Lol

Hope you got to relax a little too amongst all the chores. 

Yes a good day. Just half way through a film then will tackle the task in hand. 

Sound like a good day. Try Norbert to stress about the decorating and try to  focus on the end result. x

. said:

Shopping - eeek! - I am expecting an online food order later...hate supermarkets...so noisy, busy, and full of so many stressed people.  Hate shopping generally, really....

Poor Spotty you must have needed the extra time relaxing. 

We had a nice time with lunch out and looking at the scenery. Last leg of official decorating so have to move more stuff so that can be done tomorrow. Motivation will come out of necessity in a while! 

Try and keep your head above the water line...and beware the under-tow!

Shopping - eeek! - I am expecting an online food order later...hate supermarkets...so noisy, busy, and full of so many stressed people.  Hate shopping generally, really....

Another day of domestic goddess duties today....school kit ironed, laundry on, shoes to polish, floors to mop, and beds to make...but provides an excuse to keep my head down and be undisturbed...

Oh dear, it's nearly afternoon and I've only just crawled out of my pit. And we have to go shopping, boo. Hope everyone else is having an ok day. I will imagine swimming in the sea by the ship for a while.

Sounds lovely  

Morning all. Yes busy chatter last night. We do need the humorous banter along with the pleas for help. I hope you don't need to have your mask and armour on all day Ellie. I'm going on a mystery tour short or long not sure but out for a few hours with dad which will be nice after a sofa day yesterday. 

Now which one of you knocked on my door and woke me up last night!

Another day in "other land" - ...... armour on (check), mask on (check)..,strike a pose..and ..time to play Neurotypical.

good morning crew! Hope you are all ok and not one feels sea sick!  

Definitely sleep not crash, you are right on all fronts. x

Sorry for that spotty but I am just me coping in a world I don't belong.

one nite last week it was relentless post after post,people begging for help.

I suppose being here having a laugh when bad things are happening makes me feel guilty.

like I said before,we need to escape,my head cannot cope with it, 

You take care,We do care for each other,but we come here for support and understanding not more punishment.

sorry drew if your reading this?please understand.

nite spotty thank you for being here to give me company and support,I better log out before I crash and burn.

big hugs(). 

And Ellie will save us with silly, until she runs out,  of course life can look so bleak that it isn't worth the huge effort, but then  there's you and the others here, we are just ordinary extraordinary people making a small difference. x

Sadly as if we need reminding pew has posted.I can only empathise with him,I don't have the strength or knowledge to help him,this world is so very very wrong,sorry for that downer but just highlite the need for escapism.drew we really do care,we feel pain,we just don't have the facilities to get you what you need!sorry mate. Just keep ranting if you need to .

we aren't here laughing out of not caring but if we constantly focus on every person who needs desperate help it will destroy us,we aren't strong enough.

Sadly as if we need reminding pew has posted.I can only empathise with him,I don't have the strength or knowledge to help him,this world is so very very wrong,sorry for that downer but just highlite the need for escapism.drew we really do care,we feel pain,we just don't have the facilities to get you what you need!sorry mate. Just keep ranting if you need to .

we aren't here laughing out of not caring but if we constantly focus on every person who needs desperate help it will destroy us,we aren't strong enough.

Mind the ornaments and your delicate self x 

Yes to that too. I drove up but think they'd been the night before and the moon was too bright. I'll maybe get to see them one day! Right I better get on and move some curtains and ornaments etc!! 

Each day seems to be a process of untying knots and creating new ones. Did you get to see the northern lights the other day btw

So do you? I hadn't realised that I did. But I suppose I am.. that's my thing.. my body does things to tell me things but I don't always recognise what it's saying and then don't know what to do about it if I find out .. lol. Quite often tired on Sundays because I have the day with dad and try to have the best day we can but drains me which I get frustrated by It. 

You sound tired and frustrated,.... x 

Yes I sort of assumed that having found that myself!! They are lucky to have you on their side. No I'm not. Pleasant as he he is not used to people in my space. Will be glad when it's finished. And not got started getting ready yet! Yes they are a good way to express a whole range of emotions and stories. 

Yep I'm more of an assignments than exams girl too. Very anxious on the tests reflected in not passing til the 4th time but very worth it.  There was no public transport where I grew up so everyone learned to drive sooner or later. But there was always someone in the village who couldn't or didn't. It must be very hard to feel stuck without it. Plus I'm just not used to public transport. My car is another cocoon for me. 

I guess.  The kids are better by far compared to the grown ups! They are honest, kind and I guess I identify with their aspiration and vulnerability...

you ready for home invasion tomorrow?

poetry and sing lyrics help give words and articulation of the inner self...the big bit I struggle to articulate x 

Yes that's when I was introduced too. Listening to Poetry Please sometimes is soothing. You put things so well. Ready for another week at the coalface? 

It ''twas stress that got me.,.at test time..or feel of failure...but happy to sail a boat..when not being the mast head! 

Big hugs. Not good to be kept in your place. Mm I passed on my 4th don't give up. Take more lessons as and when you can. Maybe we can give you encouragement. ()()x

Ted Hughes is good...o level and a level flashbacks..

i guess the happy medium is to own the key to your own cage! Or have it left ajar x 

How beautiful sad and poignant. Maybe there is also safety and comfort in the cage. Some people feel the fear and do it anyway and others don't. I know I miss out on things because of it. Do we choose to trap ourselves? And if we want to change that how do we go about it... I really enjoy the poetry you post and Tom too. I like Ted Hughes poetry he wrote about the skylark and thought fox and other things of nature. 

We have a tawny and barn owl here...curlews have a great call..... I have a car, been through a driving test a couple of times,.but need someone to got out in the car with me! Someone prefers me with clipped wings, methinks ️ 

Caged Bird
BY MAYA ANGELOU
A free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wing
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

More in common! Your description suits me well and very poetic. Definitely something special about hearing owls, skylarks lapwings and curlews. My cage is living in town and not being well enough to change that or get out to nature as much as I'd like. Could you learn to drive? 

I need the bubble...but to be unbubbled...being in here helps, but birdsong and a woodland, a long coastal walk....lying in the grass with a good read and the sound if a distant skylark would be very much welcome.  

My husband can't walk that far ...yards...and he teases me because I am like a dog of its lead when outdoors..I don't drive so land locked most if the time.....constantly urging someone to open the doors of the bird cage! Lol

Well done for the rescue mission, you'd be pleased to see it fly off. I like the sound of your local companions.. would suit me. Both of you switching off in your own ways.. mine feels like a bubble existence too which is fine sometimes and not so fine at others. Would you like it to be more lively and less of a bubble or does the bubble give you chance to recharge? 

Sort off days off are sometimes just about the light relief is needed.

I had to rescue a yearling blackbird from my cat  today ...it flew off after some care from me.., but cross with my cat...my local companions - the blackbirds, robin, wrens, owls, bat and the last remaining house martins...

my OH has been stuck in front of the television today..,so a sort of day off myself...got some space, but a rather quiet bubble existence! X 

Yes I think so. We just had a gentle day. Took flowers to mum's grave,    Had nice Sunday lunch. Then had a look over the hedges to see what farming going on. I planted some cuttings I'd taken from dad's garden and now just shooed a puss cat away as curious about my guinea pig. I used to be able to let them run free range in the garden but not any more .. still like to let him graze a bit tho. Sort of had a day off..