How can I help my son to deal with his emotions?

Paddy said:

"To be even-handed, you could also try to explain to your son that if he cries because things go wrong then people will laugh at him, and he will find it harder to fit in with his classmates. 

I think, perhaps, as he gets older he will learn ways to behave so he can fit in and not be bullied, it is something that all children have to go through, unfortunately. Not sure if I helped, but I hope I did.

[comment removed by moderator]. an exemplar of wrong.

Let your son cry. I cry in public all the time (I cried today in a shop and had to sit on a chair whilst being served, dreadful, felt awful) and am not ashamed of it. I do what I need to do. Bottling it up and having the default taught pressure of 'behaving normally so I can fit in' has caused MASSIVE problems later in life.

Your son cries because it is a release valve, because he is overloaded/too much information to process, he regards the environment as hostile because that's the information his brain in processing. It it normal for him. Maybe you should think of whether the educational environment is right for him and ask your school/local authority about support rather than piling all the responsibility upon your son's shoulders indirectly, and also your own to 'solve the problem'. Is it really that bigger problem?

Since when is it socially unacceptable for a boy to cry? Just putting this here. 

Since when do people need to have it explained to them why a person is crying? Just putting this here.

Since when do teachers permit bullying to occur under their noses? Just putting this here.

Since when does the school not have effective measures for coping/dealing with bullying? Just putting this here.

FYI: I was put to school when I was four and stood at the side of the playground and sobbed uncontrollably all day. I was told to fit in, and I was told to toughen up and 'get on with it'. 10 years later I was removed from school because the situation had become life threatening. 

Knock the assumption, or presumption, that your son needs to fit in on the head right now. Get support to help you understand your sons needs and why he cries and how his 'coping' strategies function and display themselves, THEN, get the right support from the school, etc. 

Bon courage.

Paddy said:

"To be even-handed, you could also try to explain to your son that if he cries because things go wrong then people will laugh at him, and he will find it harder to fit in with his classmates. 

I think, perhaps, as he gets older he will learn ways to behave so he can fit in and not be bullied, it is something that all children have to go through, unfortunately. Not sure if I helped, but I hope I did.

[comment removed by moderator]. an exemplar of wrong.

Let your son cry. I cry in public all the time (I cried today in a shop and had to sit on a chair whilst being served, dreadful, felt awful) and am not ashamed of it. I do what I need to do. Bottling it up and having the default taught pressure of 'behaving normally so I can fit in' has caused MASSIVE problems later in life.

Your son cries because it is a release valve, because he is overloaded/too much information to process, he regards the environment as hostile because that's the information his brain in processing. It it normal for him. Maybe you should think of whether the educational environment is right for him and ask your school/local authority about support rather than piling all the responsibility upon your son's shoulders indirectly, and also your own to 'solve the problem'. Is it really that bigger problem?

Since when is it socially unacceptable for a boy to cry? Just putting this here. 

Since when do people need to have it explained to them why a person is crying? Just putting this here.

Since when do teachers permit bullying to occur under their noses? Just putting this here.

Since when does the school not have effective measures for coping/dealing with bullying? Just putting this here.

FYI: I was put to school when I was four and stood at the side of the playground and sobbed uncontrollably all day. I was told to fit in, and I was told to toughen up and 'get on with it'. 10 years later I was removed from school because the situation had become life threatening. 

Knock the assumption, or presumption, that your son needs to fit in on the head right now. Get support to help you understand your sons needs and why he cries and how his 'coping' strategies function and display themselves, THEN, get the right support from the school, etc. 

Bon courage.