Sorry

I agree with Trainspotter.

I have Aspergers syndrome, so saying inappropriate things in social situations is one of my defining characteristics. I have gotten pretty good at minimalsing my social clangers, now there are just social blunders with the odd clanger along the way. Each one of them has helped me understand things better - so stay with us perhaps, get a feel for things as time goes on, and please please feel free to ask questions. This is what the NAS cummunity is here for - mistakes and all. OK?

PS - I much prefer social clangers at the beginning of friendships, in that things tend to improove thereafter all in all.

Hi Danielle

Please don't be afraid to ask for advice or help again.

I don't think there is a person on the planet who has not upset someone at sometime, has not made 'inappropriate' comments, who said things that they didn't mean or said something that someone else misinterpreted and took exception to.

And some of the greatest friendships have had their roots in these misunderstanding

Hi thank you for your kind words I am still coming to terms with this my son who is being diagnosed is only 2 and a half and I see how difficult it is for him to understand and I have also witnessed videos of meltdowns etc shared by an autism support group on facebook so when I asked for advice I never meant any harm it's just what I had seen and over panicked I am a very over panicking person I went through a lot as a child so although I worded things incorrectly I truly never meant to upset or harm anyone and I more than likely will not ask for help again as I don't want to upset anyone I give everyone a heartfelt apology I never meant any harm and I'm so sorry. 

Danielle1992 said:

sorry no insensitivity was intended 

Hi Danielle,

Apology completely accepted, most people have social clanger moments, especially when feeling worried or nervous in unfamiliar situations. Burly though - classic clanger, and you came back and apologised too - that requires integrity and demonstates you have it too. Bonus

I was concerned that you might not come back at all, and nor then share your wisdom perhaps with other people as we all thereby learn more together. Thankyou, I have made numerous mistakes here myself, and have learnt a great deal, and thankyou everyone - service users and providers alike.

The question is, did my statements cause discontent, or could I have done things in a more befitting way. Feedback would be appreciated.

Why has an NAS moderator not been on line since about 0700 hours yesterday morning? And why has my feedback entitled, I am worried about the person who posted this - not been responded to or acted upon thus far? I ask due to a mother having reached out for help, but in so doing she made an insensitive statement, 'and'. as a result - a cummunity member made an upsetting statement about themself to exemplify the transgression. My feedback did state categorically that this sort of thing would happen did it not?!?

Sincerely Thus,

D.

P.S. Danielle1992,

Providing you take no amusement with being inadequately cared for, as like most people, we are actually here to help one another, and it is often by far better to learn from mistakes rather than being punished for them instead.

Consider perhaps that just as you have made a social blunder in the autistic community; we of such have done so many times over in the social community at large.

If you feel at any stage that you need advice about autistic spectrum needs, this is certainly one of the places where it can be reliably provided. But as far as your original question goes, you might just as well be asking how to ensure having a boy or a girl.

Perhaps soon there will be a prenatal tst for autism and no one will have to go through the awfulness of having a child like me.

Please be aware that many of us don't see ourselves as 'suffering' from autism -its an identity we're proud of. Its insensitive to ask on here how you can be sure you won't add to our numbers.

From my research there seems to be both genetic and non genetic based autism.  The causes are still in question with ongoing research in that area.  If genetically based, it seems to be common for a parent to be diagnosed after their child is diagnosed and they have learned the symptoms and recognize them in themselves. There are many different levels of autism and the higher functioning are much harder to diagnose.