Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all :)
You may have seen a topic i prerviously posted very recently about my boys. Im a mom of 3. I have got my one boy through alot of the process to the point they have said its Autism and ADHD but it hasnt been put on paper as yet as hes yet to see a phsycotherapist and my other son hasnt even got to first screening yet. This in mind, I have so many questions, so please forgive me as no matter what i read it seems so vague. My main question being if this is the case, does my nearly 6 year old son know? is he aware of his autism and ADHD? If not when do they become aware of it? do you tell them or do you not say anything at all ( i wouldnt until it was on paper anyway). Also my one son has alot of hitting, bitting to others and himself, he uses baby talk and grunts, these things sometimes make me wonder is all this behaviour completely his condition OR is some of it just an average nearly 6 year olds behaviour? Im very confused. I know alot of the things he does isnt that of someone his age but say like when hes boundary pushing is that the nearly six year old or is it part of the condition or both? the reason i ask this as im so worried about time out if its something that cant be helped, in fact should i be time outing anyway? Im in a place where im questioning everything he does (not to him like i just think is this his way of saying i cant cope or is it him just being a head strong nearly 6 year old?) , im questioning everything we do like should i time out if his behaviour is unacceptable (but then it might not be his fault and so i dont want him to feel misunderstood). I often wonder if he knows as im scared that he might feel alone or isolated and i really dont want that. I mean he seems happy enough until hes in one of his outbursts but i am a worrier and the thought of them feeling misunderstood for even a second turns my stomach. If theres anyone out there with autism / ADHD or both a point of view and advice from you would be greatly appreciated as i just want to understand and do the best for my boys. My boys havent changed overnight and i would like to think that i know them every inch of the way however if theres anything i can do to understand the way they see the world then that can only benefit them surely? thank you for reading my post, and thank you in advance to anyone that can contribute, it means alot. Best Wishes, Lisa :)
Hiya :)
Thank you so much for your post it means alot :) I think youre right i think he knows something but hes not quite sure, Brad my eldest hes being assessed he knows somethings not right as he asks why everyone can easily 'do school' as he puts it and he cant as Brads attention span is non exsistent he goes into a daydream and flits in and out of the real world and he must concentrate so hard as he mentions about seeing blurry bluey / purple ive had his eyes checked and theyre fine but he also complains about his ears dont work but again they are fine too??, but hes no where near the extremity of Callum, he just cannot cope at all in large amounts of people or noise, so i try to avoid it (go shopping alone etc) and limit the wait on the playground but through this i sometimes misjudge it which makes him a minute or so late :( which then sparks a whole new outburst. Kids are nasty to Callum but Callums nature is that he just thinks well youre nasty to me im going to push you etc etc it usually escalates as he doesnt get that thats not the way to deal with it no matter how many ways we try. How you explained about the no special treatment is exactly what we do at the moment, i just worry that in some circumstances where hes obviously not coping that i dont want him to think i cant even look to my mom for help as shes telling me this is wrong behaviour when its maybe his only way of showing hes not happy?? thats why i so desperately just want to see what he sees which i know is impossible, but having others insights like yours are as good as, so this is why im eternally grateful for your help! Its funny you mention about drawing Callum loses himself, he goes into his own world when drawing and his attention to detail is amazing! that and computer games but i do find he gets angry if he cant do a bit of the game so we have to be careful there. We thought about getting him a leappad for christmas so that theres educational games on there etc and its mobile and productive. We thought it might help him with the subjects he struggles with also as hes below average in everything apart from Maths in which he excels, dont know where he gets that from as its the one subject both me and my hubby struggle with! You have hit the nail on the head about the ignorance thats what i cant cope with, and i know i need to get my head around it, i can cope with most things but that, so i deffinately need to work on that, if not for me then for the benefit of my boys. It has been lovely reading your post, its refreshing to speak to someone that knows about all this and has such a calm approach, as i feel my head is on backwards!! Again thank you so much, i really appreciate it and cant thank you enough, have a great evening, Best Wishes Lisa :)