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behaviour

kworcs

Hi

Im new to all this I have been told by the school that my son aged 8 is showing mild signs of autism, and is on the referral list to be diagnosed, but unsure how long this will take.

I am not coping very well with the behaviour problems that seem to be getting worse, I have experienced 3 situations last week that I have just not known how to handle and am lookng for any adivice please.

The 1st was when my daughter gave birth to her daughter my on visiting her in hospital my son was shaking he was that frightened t go in the hospital and got hisself so worked up about it i had to leave hm outside with a family member.

The 2nd was in Asda when I tried to have a cup of coffee in the cafe my son was so worked up because of the noises and smells he was screaming frantically to get him out of there.

The 3rd was on a visit to a church service my son had said straight away on me telling him that he didnt want to go as there would be bells going off i tried to overcome this with talking to him and telling him not necessarily but as we approached the church the bells went off and that was the end of our church visit he was screaming and crying that he couldn't go in there.

My son is also very much into routine which although is hard i seem to be getting through that but seem so useless when it comes to the other situations and do not know how to handle them.

Glad of any advise thanks Kay

 

 

  • Yeah unfortunately they don't grow out of these things, sometimes the routines and behaviour change slightly. We avoid crowded places when Callum is with us, we do keep trying to take Callum places he doesn't like just to try - up until very recently Callum refused to stay in a church and would kick off the minute we went inside one but we kept trying (at harvest festival, Xmas etc) and he stayed for the whole of this years harvest festival, didn't take part and sat we me looking at books and playing but it is a step forward. So you never know when they will surprise you. Another idea is if you are going shopping or to a cafe etc not only have him wear ear defenders (callum loves his) but take a DS with him, it will allow him to focus directly on one thing and will distract him from the surrounding environment

  • newbie too

    hi there yes i totally agree that explaining things to your son and dont give him too much info in one go they cannot take on board too much info in one go.but do this wherever you go.our life has been like that for years we hoped james would grow out of it but seems to get worse if in a cafe if its too busy its a no go area give him a choice ask him where he wants to sit or ask him how you could make his life easier,eg;how could you help. james is twelve but somtimes its as if we talkto him like a baby but we understand now that our lives revolve around james and not the other way round it does make our lives a lot easier. but we learn by our mistakes with james and no we canot make james do things or go places he just doesnt like to go.sometimes we just try and let james no and reasure him that he is safe and nothink is going to happen to him he still walks around holding my hand then he feels safe.

  • Hi, I think we can all agree we have been there! I found ear defenders worked, they are the same as the ones builders were but smaller. I bought a pair of ebay and they were really cheap.

    Also before you go anywhere explain to your son where you are going and what you will be doing one stage at a time so not to confuse him.

  • Have you tried ear plugs?  My sons hearing is so sensitive he struggles to cope with load noises and groups of people.  His Occupational Therapist suggested I ge him some foam ear plugs and they really do help.  He can tuck them in himself, we tested them when we had the tv on load (he doesn't like that either) and he immediately took to them.

    He wears them in school when he's trying to concentrate on his school work so the noises of the classroom don't distract him, even if there's no talking sounds like pencil scratching on paper or people fidgeting really distract him.  I also keep a pair in my bag so if we're out and he suspects there might be noise or if aomething is to noisey he can put them in.

     

    He can still hear around them, it's important to get foam one's for this but they lessen the noise for him.  For safety reasons everyone who deals with him has to know that to get his attention they should put a hand on his sholder firmly and then they mime taking the plugs out his ears, so he can hear a fire bell etc, although from my experience they don't completely reduce noise, they just take the worst of it away.