Iain's reply is excellent - but if I was in a certain mood I would say the same thing back to this person [this is called 'mirroring'] and see how they like being on the receiving end of such negativity. Nothing is ever completely one person's fault [unless one of them is a psychopath] but this 'blaming' is scapegoating and happens a lot in stressful environments such as, work, love relationships, bad neighbourhoods. So, my succinct answer to your question is, no.
If you're told everything is your fault and you need to change, you are wrong etc does that mean it is?
This is very much subject to the view of the person(s) involved - rarely is is only one side,
Typically for autists is stems from us not taking the time to learn the rules of how relationships work and looking for the unspoken signals that most NTs can pick up on instinctively.
There are plenty of books out there that explain how these things work.
Of course it would be ideal if the other partner would learn about our autism and adapt their communication style to help us understand where things are not going the way that they want or if you upset them inadvertenty etc.
In reality this will rarely happen in my experience (and from what others have described on this site) so my advice would be to learn what is going on, try to watch for the signs that something is expected or has gone wrong and develop ways to respond to these things
Yes it is hard work but if you really want the relationship then I believe you have to do the work to make it a success.
In the short term it may be worth asking what you are doing wrong, how you can do things differently and it you think the ask is reasonable then do it.
In our default format autists are hard work for NTs to deal with and are often frustrating because of some of our autistic traits. They typically want someone who "just gets it" and who is capable of reading the situation well. You can learn to be this person if you want to but it won't be fast, it probably won't be easy and you have to decide if the other person is really worth all the effort and change if they are not making the same effort themselves.
