If you're told everything is your fault and you need to change, you are wrong etc does that mean it is?
If you're told everything is your fault and you need to change, you are wrong etc does that mean it is?
No, it doesn't.
Iain, Marianne and Lonehare have already answered this well, so I will add what I can around the edges.
Your question doesn't offer context for your lived experience so I don't know whether this is one other person telling you this or the drip-drip of multiple people over time. Either way, I suspect it's hurting you.
If the context of these remarks is at at work and about rules you are breaking, then it's worth working out what is getting in the way. Work rules are mostly there for a valid reason and it's best to follow them.
I suspect though that you are writing about an interpersonal relationship.
Autistic folk like us are often 'gaslighted' about our own experiences and picked on because we approach things differently. This is poor behaviour and can sometimes constitute abuse.
Many of us try (too) hard to please people and don't have healthy boundaries that honour our own needs. When we have tried to implement better boundaries, find our 'no' or look to unmask, some of us have got a lot of pushback from our partners, even when the change is modest and explained beforehand. I have lived through this, and it is unhealthy.
If two people are working or living together, there are two sets of lived experience, strategies, styles and habits. For a relationship to work, there need to be compromises and accommodations by both people, and these evolve over time. When the relationship works well, you can achieve together more than you could separately.
Some people, especially when stressed or angry, are prone to generalising statements which use words like 'always', 'never', 'all' or 'nothing'. They don't stand up to logical analysis but do give an insight into the other person’s thinking.
If everything is your fault, you have to change and you are always wrong, then by deduction the other person is faultless, can just stay as they are and is always right. That is unhealthy and lazy thinking by them.
You deserve better, whilst playing your fair, equal part in your relationships.
Please take really good care of yourself.
No, it doesn't.
Iain, Marianne and Lonehare have already answered this well, so I will add what I can around the edges.
Your question doesn't offer context for your lived experience so I don't know whether this is one other person telling you this or the drip-drip of multiple people over time. Either way, I suspect it's hurting you.
If the context of these remarks is at at work and about rules you are breaking, then it's worth working out what is getting in the way. Work rules are mostly there for a valid reason and it's best to follow them.
I suspect though that you are writing about an interpersonal relationship.
Autistic folk like us are often 'gaslighted' about our own experiences and picked on because we approach things differently. This is poor behaviour and can sometimes constitute abuse.
Many of us try (too) hard to please people and don't have healthy boundaries that honour our own needs. When we have tried to implement better boundaries, find our 'no' or look to unmask, some of us have got a lot of pushback from our partners, even when the change is modest and explained beforehand. I have lived through this, and it is unhealthy.
If two people are working or living together, there are two sets of lived experience, strategies, styles and habits. For a relationship to work, there need to be compromises and accommodations by both people, and these evolve over time. When the relationship works well, you can achieve together more than you could separately.
Some people, especially when stressed or angry, are prone to generalising statements which use words like 'always', 'never', 'all' or 'nothing'. They don't stand up to logical analysis but do give an insight into the other person’s thinking.
If everything is your fault, you have to change and you are always wrong, then by deduction the other person is faultless, can just stay as they are and is always right. That is unhealthy and lazy thinking by them.
You deserve better, whilst playing your fair, equal part in your relationships.
Please take really good care of yourself.
