Its true this doesnt offer context for my lived experience and its hard to get over the picture in a rounded perspective, and I'm aware its kind of my view/perspective influence by what i'm told at the time. I often question myself and it's why I guess I find it easiee not to say anything or trust. I also dont get the things are said one minute then you have to carry on the next. Things can cut deep and I don't find that easy to move on from. Also, what is said and what is meant? Communication is very confusing. I dont think I portray myself to be always right but apparently not accepting I'm wrong means I do. Apparently the things keep happening so they keep reacting . Although I see each thing singularly and not related, and I don't even see that some things should have caused a reaction. Now that I have got a diagnosis, it's not autism and im not really that bad, which I appreciate is probably true. Although I could maybe say that my standing in the wrong place could very well be not picking up on body language, or the social cues or expectation of the situation, . - the history of that being kids from a previous marriage being dropped off to me in a new relationship and I stood with them. A long time ago but is still relevant apparently.
When stressed I shut down. I don't say a lot face to face which is an annoyance. Then if I am aminate about something it is wrong especially if it is towards someone else. I do put boundaries up and do find it very hard to trust. I don't give reasons for my behaviour but that is annoying. I don't apologise for sitiations I didnt realise would cause a reaction. It really sounds toxic although when its allowed to be nice it seems nice. I dont know what to make of anything.
Its true this doesnt offer context for my lived experience and its hard to get over the picture in a rounded perspective, and I'm aware its kind of my view/perspective influence by what i'm told at the time. I often question myself and it's why I guess I find it easiee not to say anything or trust. I also dont get the things are said one minute then you have to carry on the next. Things can cut deep and I don't find that easy to move on from. Also, what is said and what is meant? Communication is very confusing. I dont think I portray myself to be always right but apparently not accepting I'm wrong means I do. Apparently the things keep happening so they keep reacting . Although I see each thing singularly and not related, and I don't even see that some things should have caused a reaction. Now that I have got a diagnosis, it's not autism and im not really that bad, which I appreciate is probably true. Although I could maybe say that my standing in the wrong place could very well be not picking up on body language, or the social cues or expectation of the situation, . - the history of that being kids from a previous marriage being dropped off to me in a new relationship and I stood with them. A long time ago but is still relevant apparently.
When stressed I shut down. I don't say a lot face to face which is an annoyance. Then if I am aminate about something it is wrong especially if it is towards someone else. I do put boundaries up and do find it very hard to trust. I don't give reasons for my behaviour but that is annoying. I don't apologise for sitiations I didnt realise would cause a reaction. It really sounds toxic although when its allowed to be nice it seems nice. I dont know what to make of anything.
