It definately dosen't, it definately does mean you're with the wrong person. Many people seem to have this fantasy idea of what a perfect partner is like, then they meet someone and then try and cram them into the fantasy. Then they wonder why it all goes horribly wrong, the partner can't fit into the fantasy because it's just that a fantasy, so they break up and start the whole sorry process all over again.
I think a lot of people think that those of us who are different in some way are at the same time exciting and intriging and that it's something we have a choice over. I am exciting and intriging and I can't stop being so when it's socially convienient for a partner, I refuse to stop, why should I change? If they can't cope with who I am, then why did they go out with me in the first place and why are they still with me?
If someone's doing all this stuff to you, get shot of them, compromise is one thing, but nobody should have to change the fundamentals of who and what they are. You'll tie yourself in knots over it, be walking on egg shells and constantly anxious that you're being embarassing. After doing all this, you still wont be good enough, everything will still be your fault, I used to list all the ridiculous things that could be my fault like the fall of Rome, plagues, world wars in an attempt to laugh it off, but I then realised that they were really serious and really did believe things were all my fault. It's a form of abuse and I believe coersive control, it's insideous and gets into places thats really hard to root it out from.
The person who's "fault" it is belongs to the person avoiding anything being about them, it will always be the fault of others.
Get away from this person and find someone who appreciates you for who and what you are.
It definately dosen't, it definately does mean you're with the wrong person. Many people seem to have this fantasy idea of what a perfect partner is like, then they meet someone and then try and cram them into the fantasy. Then they wonder why it all goes horribly wrong, the partner can't fit into the fantasy because it's just that a fantasy, so they break up and start the whole sorry process all over again.
I think a lot of people think that those of us who are different in some way are at the same time exciting and intriging and that it's something we have a choice over. I am exciting and intriging and I can't stop being so when it's socially convienient for a partner, I refuse to stop, why should I change? If they can't cope with who I am, then why did they go out with me in the first place and why are they still with me?
If someone's doing all this stuff to you, get shot of them, compromise is one thing, but nobody should have to change the fundamentals of who and what they are. You'll tie yourself in knots over it, be walking on egg shells and constantly anxious that you're being embarassing. After doing all this, you still wont be good enough, everything will still be your fault, I used to list all the ridiculous things that could be my fault like the fall of Rome, plagues, world wars in an attempt to laugh it off, but I then realised that they were really serious and really did believe things were all my fault. It's a form of abuse and I believe coersive control, it's insideous and gets into places thats really hard to root it out from.
The person who's "fault" it is belongs to the person avoiding anything being about them, it will always be the fault of others.
Get away from this person and find someone who appreciates you for who and what you are.
