Irritating phrases

My gp practice have renamed all the receptionists and back office call answering team as “Patient Care Navigators”. Everyone, patients and staff alike (except one presumes the management consultant who dreamt up this insult) detest this new term. It fails to communicate what it actually means and is demotivating to those called this.

For many years I worked in a large city reference library and here one of their too frequent restructures retitled Librarians as Library and Information Officers. This was particularly offensive as the post graduate qualification needed to be a qualified professional librarian was lengthy and so the new title had no respect, infact it was downright offensive. Being dummed down to just another local government officer completely collapsed morale among this very professional team. 

Being a stakeholder and being involved are not the same thing. As a software developer I am involved in many projects, but I'm not a stakeholder in them.

It say's eggplant instead of aubergene, I have been told what it means, but peach? I'm not sure I'd understand what anyone was on about any better if it says sob, or laugh.

That's actually right on the mark

Anyone using the phrase stakeholder. Unless you're the apprentice to a vampire hunter you shouldn't be a stakeholder. It's more corporate double speak to avoid saying the people involved. 

If you 'hover' over them with your mouse, there is a text explanation for each.

So do I, but I find adding the simple ones I can identify helps any confusion about the tone I mean in my message incase my my wording isn't clear

TheCatWoman said:

so why would I be any better with these?

Emoji's are essentially exaggerated and consistent facial expresssions, so they're more explicit and easier to learn (you can even look them up online if need be to check what they mean). They also tend to be sarcasm-free, or even indicators that what was said is sarcasm so help to contextualise other text.

I tend to use them as a way of being expressive in textual conversation.

Not saying it works that way for everyone though.

I don't get why so many autistic people like emojis, I know they're used as emotional shorthand by some, but as an autistic person I often have problems reading emotions from faces, so why would I be any better with these?

Yeah, same! I think the advice is to squash it all together until it's at least a tennis ball sized bit before putting into the recycling bin. All the small bits in the middle wrapped in a bigger bit after it's been washed and refused a few times first.

Yes, I do that too.

They used to put a notice at the recycling centre of the percentage, but I haven't seen it for ages. My fear is, that a lot gets taken and dumped overseas.

[tears of laughter].

True, but perhaps, 'recycling' would make people feel more virtuous than, 'separating waste.' It's like calling bin-men the recycling team - it adds dignity.

Oh god, yes - emojis are the worst. Like, why do we need a tiny yellow face to say, "I'm sad"? Just say it!

And when someone drops a whole string -  - I'm sat there squinting like, "Is this a code? A threat? A recipe?" I literally have to Google half of them. And if it's tiny on my phone? Forget it. Might as well be hieroglyphs.

You're not alone. I once got a message that was just  and I genuinely thought it was a vegetable shopping list. Turns out... no.

So yeah. Let's ban emojis. Or at least make them optional. Like subtitles on a film - nice if you want them, but not mandatory.

Thank you LMW, I feel like clawing my eyes out too, that of course if I understand what on earth they're on about! I'm the same with emojis, I can't see most of them, even with my glasses on, I can't make out what they're trying to express or mean and when you get a post thats a line of the thing's I start to lose the will to live. 

Oh god, yes - "life hack" sounds like someone's trying to sell me a gadget. "Tip" is fine. Clean. No pretence.

And text speak? Like "u" instead of "you"? Makes me want to claw my eyes out. If we're talking, just say the word. I'm not your autocorrect.

You're allowed to hate them. I hate them too.

In our area if pieces of tin foil are small, such as one or two pieces of foil wrapping from chocolates, the recycling process will not catch them so they slip through into the general rubbish.

I squish all my pieces of foil into one bundle for the fortnightly recycling collection.

I remember in the days of Mebion Glyndwr, a popular piece of grafitti was 'Don't flush the toilet, the English need the water'!.

Metals are the only thing that is infinitely recyclable. And the irony is tin foil is often thrown out instead!