Published on 12, July, 2020
A couple days ago I got an assignment to create a resume and cover letter for a finance and career class (its required...but useful).
Its quite simple. Its one page and I have to choose a job to apply to (for pretend) and write my name, contact info, skills I have relating to the job, my past job experiance, etc.
It SHOULD be simple.
However I didn't start until a few hours ago (I attempted to start many times) and its because its due tomorrow. *I* didn't even do it... my mom did (and then I edited out a lot of it).
I couldn't think of a job that I would like or that I'd be good at. My mom said that I don't actually have to be either of those things because its pretend and I'm not really applying... And I'd be okay doing a pretend one, if I had a pretend character I was being, but its ME in the assignment which means anything I put will be shown to the teacher as something I would want/like. And I don't want her to get the wrong impression because that would be a lie.
Eventually my mom just made me stick with a tutoring kids job she found. So I had to think of my past work experiance... which is none. My mom wrote that I volunteer to help kids with activities - that's not true. I have little kid friends and I'll sometimes do activities with them.. That is not volunteering.
I had to think of traits I have that would make me a good person to hire. My mom thought stuff like: writing, math, chemistry, music, art, organization. I don't think I can write that stuff. They are opinions and will be different depending on who is being compared with, yet I'm supposed to state them as facts... Even if I write okay, there are people who know better words, who can actually spell and know grammer, know proper punctuation, can express themself better, etc. So what if I say I'm a good writer and the the hiring manager expects me to be a certain way and then I'm not that way. Or what if I take the spot of someone who has better skills and instead they are stuck with my mediocrity. And whatever I wrote the teacher would see and what if she thinks I am a horrible writer? Then she will think I am over confident with my abilities.
Every little thing I had problems with. My mom hates helping me with homework because she says I'm frustrating. So sometimes I just cant push myself to turn in an assignment (or even do) because it caused too much anxiety and wasn't good enough and I had too many 'unknowns' and problems with it, and if my mom gives up with helping. Then I get a zero and then my grade goes down.
My mom says that I have the most trouble with assignments that most people would consider fun and easy. I don't mind doing dozens of algebra equations, or writing an essay, but if its something about myself or something without an exact right awnser or no clear expectations, then I feel stuck. And it probably would take most people 30min to write their make-believe resume but it took my days and I didn't even end up doing it myself and I am still very unhappy with what I turned in..
The only reason I DID turn it in is because I wrote a message to my teacher about how I don't actually believe what I wrote and I gave all the issues I have with resumes... The message took me almost an hour to write and the teacher probably doesn't even care what I write in my assignments.. But I just couldn't turn it in unless I said something. It feels like I'm lying otherwise and I would worry for the rest of the year (and years later - not exaggeration, just know from other experiences) that she would remember it and think about it and think how I lied.
But even the email to my teacher lead to overthinking. I repeatedly checked to make sure I had the right class, teacher, assignment, button. All the info was correct but I am terrified that I'll misread something and then I send my message to some other teacher, or about the wrong assignment. Or that technology hates me and will send my message to the entire class. I reread my message and kept rewording and adding more and deleting. I did eventually just click send as fast as I could because there's no undo button so what's done is done... And I try to go to bed by 10 which was over an hour ago.
I keep getting backed up on homework and its mostly because of these types of situations. In math I finish my work very quick and never have to take it home.. Math isn't easy in the sense that I'm some sort of genius, but all I have to do is learn how its done then do it. Or other classes where I just memorise facts or concepts. Im even fine with some opinion type things...like an argumentative essay, but that has rules. A resume about your abilities and interests does not have a right awnser and that means I just write whatever and hope no one thinks I was a fool.
I have another homework due tomorrow.. The class doesn't accept late work. Another assignment that I have had issues with since Thursday of last week. I should have been doing that instead of writing this pointless post. But this post is easy.
Again, this post is pointless.. My brain just has thoughts and I am really bad at knowing how much I can talk to people (and about what) so at least a post you all can ignore if you like.
Ill be real useless when it comes time I do get a job (if I couldn't even handle getting a fake job). Not to mention the actual interview part (my teacher said to shake hand firmly, maintain eye contact, don't fidget, smile, small talk before interview, ...there's more but basically its the opposite of an autist ((not all auts of course))). Having a job would be hard to - cant miss work too often, cant miss deadlines, go everyday for hours, etc. Im not ready for adult life (in the next year), I havent even aced teenager life yet, maybe even kid life. Im just all of them and none of them at the same time (maybe more none of them. I never been an adult so I cant say I am partially one).
Edit: The message I wrote my teacher was long and I said I wasn't expecting a responce.. Her NOT responding is making me nervous though. It turns out there is a delete button. I'm debating if I should delete it. It could possibly be helpful for her to know my thoughts processes, But maybe she thinks its silly or maybe im not allowed to say more personal stuff to teachers (does that break a professionality rule?).
Edit-edit: So I CAN delete the message but it says the teacher can read deleted messages ..so that complicate things more...
I don't think I can answer everything about this, but I looked for some insights in memories of my own school days.
Overthinking - probably can't help much, because we all do it here.
But, I am wondering if it would help for you to know the point of any particular assignment. Asking the teacher would be tricky because they will hear a petulant pupil asking "what is the point of this assignment?!" So maybe something along the lines of, "it would help me to do a better job, if I knew what this assignment was meant to be teaching us. These things are not obvious to me." You could even ask your mom this question.
I was equally bad at stuff like this (I thought it 'wishy-washy' with a very low cost/benefit ratio - high cost, low benefit). But then you realise that the literal question is not the point, it is to teach something else.
I wonder if, in this case, writing a resume for a fictional person would work better than a resume for yourself?
I never really thought if I needed to know the point of an assignment but maybe that would help. Some assignments do seem quite meaningless. (Like one I had last year where I had to plan what food I'd have at my Thanksgiving feast)
I would have an easier time writing a resume for a fictional person, that wasn't the assignment though. Maybe I could try making one on my own time so I learn the process... I don't know.
Thanks for the suggestions
Look to the 'learning outcomes/objectives' for the class/assignment. That tells you what you are expected to demonstrate, and guide you to how you will be marked.
In creating a CV and cover letter you are probably working out how to tailor your experience to fit the vacancy, because to proceed to interview you need to 'tick' a number of criteria (essential and desirable if they list them), so each application is like an essay you write where the job advert and job description is the 'question'. If you don't put your experience down in the exact words mentioned by the advert/job description, you will not be shortlisted for an interview. Sending the same CV to different employers does not work, you have to explain how you would fit in to the vacancy they have.
It is up to you to tailor your interests to what they are looking for. Simply stating you did one thing, when rephrasing it in 'their' terms you are applying your experience to what you imagine their job will be like. And if you can't imagine what the job will be like, why should they interview you? They don't know what your experience of a particular thing is, and they are only really interested in as much as it gives them an idea how you will do their job. They are not so much bothered with what you did. It's what you would do if you were given this job, that they are interested in.
I was always confused at school, because I could never work out what they wanted me to learn. Now they use learning outcomes it is easier for me when I went back to uni to do a qualification.