Published on 12, July, 2020
I was always told I was soft as a kid. Obviously I was autistic as a kid as I am now. But kids would say oh he’s soft. Is this the reason why autistic men don’t have much success with women? Because they are soft and cry a lot and get upset? Does a woman truly look for a ‘hard’ man? I would say yes. Women have sometimes thought of me as gay because I would speak with a soft voice in the past. I’m afraid in my experience women don’t like the soft and impotent type. So I stopped being soft and impotent. Being soft didn’t get me anywhere as a boy. Now I am hard. I never cry especially not in front of women. Anytime I have cried in front of a woman they rolled their eyes etc. I now get it! It’s because a woman doesn’t want a weak and feeble man who cries when he doesn’t get his way. I have learned this. This is okay! I now understand that I am a man and I have to be hard like a man and not cry. Supposedly society is more accepting of men crying and being emotional but this is BS. Genuinely I have cried and got no sympathy from men and women. That’s when I learned that men can’t cry because it’s a sign of weakness. I am not weak. I don’t cry when I can’t get what I want. I try harder to get the things I want. I may have been the soft kid at school that everyone picked on but now I am a hard man and I get the things I want because I earn them. I learned that as a man I have to be hard and assert my dominance and male spirit to achieve what I want. I never drink alcohol because I am above alcohol. I don’t need alcohol to be myself I can be myself without alcohol. I speak with a hard man’s voice instead of a soft and gentle voice. I assert my positive intentions on the world and I build things. I may have been weak and feeble at one point but now I am strong and potent. I am a maverick among the many. Thanks to Vitamin B6 I have been granted ultimate powers.
It maybe a bad idea to not be yourself with a potential partner. Yes, you can reign in your 'worst' aspects and try to improve yourself, but not change your personality. You may even be able to kid someone who isn't really a suitable partner, but you probably won't be happy.
It also may be a bad idea to think you know what an entire group wants (women, in this case), based on what some want - or even what a lot want. (For example "I know women who vote Labour, therefore all women vote Labour")
I accept that I have been extremely lucky and am married to someone who likes a lot of my autistic attributes. I am vulnerable with her (soft?) just not all the time. Sometimes I have to be strong for her (not strong like a macho man, but sometimes I need to support her when she is vulnerable). We have an equal partnership. She is in charge of some aspects of our life, and I am in charge of others. This is based on our strengths. She is doing a lot more of the supporting now because of my recent burnout/autism journey. I supported her a lot in the past because of other personal (to her) things.
I must try some B12 too, though!
That’s good. I am also seeing a girl. I just try to be myself. I cried after seeing her last I must admit. I was just overcome with emotions lol. Positive emotions though. But I get what you mean it’s complicated at times. I didn’t mean hard as in like a macho man. But instead I meant strong spiritually if you will. To be hard in the sense of having a strong heart. When I say soft I mean no heart, no spirit weak backbone. Just to clarify it’s B6 I take not B12 so I can’t comment on what b12 does or anything. But it might be worth a try who knows.
I really appreciate the clarification. I will try that B6 at some point and see what it does to me!
I and catwoman both mentioned Vitamin B12, and her description of "It makes you feel like Captain Kirk" made me grin a bit but I can say that tring of loolling about aineffectvely Iev been making myself take B12 again and today (day three after 2 days of taking it, suddenly, I got a lot done and procrastinated less).
You and I got into some disagreement before and it's been suggested that I'd do better to "leave you to your own devices" (If you want that, ask, and it'll be done) but right now you are saying intresting stuff about a vitamin I know nothing about, and it seems polite to tell what little I know about another vitamin that seems to do similar things.
I really admire someone who tries things then reports what he finds, and try to be such a person myself.
Of course! The alternative is boring and crap.