Teenage son is refusing support from school for ASD

My 14 year old son has recently been diagnosed with ASD (Aspergers) we received the diagnosis report from CAMHS 2 weeks ago. In the report it has recommendations for the school to support him. I've spoken to him about this but he doesn't want the support. He masks at school because he doesn't want to be treated differently and doesn't want his peers to know that he has ASD. He struggles going to school and his attendance last year was 30%. It was identified in the report that he struggles being in the classroom as it's too overwhelming so one of the recommendations is for him to work in a small group in a quiet and predictable environment. 

He won't even listen to me when I've tried to talk to him about the support and I completely understand why he doesn't want to appear 'different' from his peers but I also want him to be able to cope in school with the correct support in place. I'm not sure where to go from here if I'm honest. As a parent do I go along with his wishes or go against him to ensure he has the support that's recommended? 

As it's school holidays I'm not able to contact the school but will arrange a face to face meeting to discuss his diagnosis and needs. Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I don't know what to do for the best. 

Parents
  • My son did get some support in school but like yours did not want to appear different. We did communicate with SENCO by email and he did not always want the support. Having the diagnosis helped for days when he was too anxious to attend. If he does not want the help you can still communicate any concerns in the background in the hope that this helps staff understand. My son was offered exams in smaller rooms which at first he rejected but then agreed to try and in the end was glad to have this. For him where possible it was important to get help where it wasn't obvious.

Reply
  • My son did get some support in school but like yours did not want to appear different. We did communicate with SENCO by email and he did not always want the support. Having the diagnosis helped for days when he was too anxious to attend. If he does not want the help you can still communicate any concerns in the background in the hope that this helps staff understand. My son was offered exams in smaller rooms which at first he rejected but then agreed to try and in the end was glad to have this. For him where possible it was important to get help where it wasn't obvious.

Children