Published on 12, July, 2020
My female partner believes she is Autistic and believes she has Pathological Demand Avoidance. When we were first in a relationship she would snuggle me, hug, kiss and say I love you etc. We split up but recently got back together and she said when we were first together she masked. She now will not kiss, saying she doesn't like it, won't hug, won't snuggle and says having to say "I love you" back when I say it is like a demand so won't do it. There is so much more going on and a relative says she is narcissistic. Can Autistic individuals heavily mask like this or is it quite suspicious how she presents? She always has to have control, guilt trips me and well, I could go on.
Yeh it’s quite common unfortunately. You have to understand that your girlfriend is really struggling. But at the same time that shouldn’t hold you back. She needs help and she may be subconsciously taking her pain out on you. She doesn’t mean it but at the same time you don’t deserve that either I guess. I don’t know the answer only you do. But yeh this is common and it can seem like autistic people are narcissistic or lack empathy. But we do have empathy it’s just we struggle with really severe anxiety. But I get that you are not a psychologist and it’s not your job to figure out your girlfriend’s problems. You don’t want to take her to guilt trip you too much because that can lead to you resenting her and that can then lead to a toxic relationship. Hope you come to a solution!
Thank you for taking the time to reply and the advice you’ve given