Skip to main content
Close Button
Donate
  • Replies 8 replies
  • Subscribers 41 subscribers
  • Views 467 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Dreading an upcoming party because I'm socially inept...

Ninj
2 months ago

Hi I'm new to this site. I saw a notice about the National Autistic Society at my school, so decided to further check out their site and stumbled across this community. This has all happened at the right time as I'm struggling at the moment.

My parents are throwing a party and I'm struggling with this because I'm a social train wreck. And at parties there's always loud music and it lasts for hours. I speak from experience here of my parents past parties. 

Last time there was a party I set my tent up at the bottom of the garden and camped it out. Amazing experience! If you haven't camped then definitely try it...you won't regret it! I love camping, being out near nature. Even in my garden it's surprising how much nature is around.

I would go camping this time but my tent got sold last year. It was an accident apparently but I have a suspicion my mum did it intentionally so I can't escape the party...she thinks I can overcome all my autistic difficulties if I face them with a positive I can do it attitude. 

If it was dry I'd just sleep outside anyway. Nothing better than sleeping under a starry sky. I used to do this with my Gramps before he died. But it's pouring down all day today. 

I'll shut myself in my room but there will be the loud music and family invited to the party just barge in my room and start talking to me. It's literally the worst it really is. It's only a night and I know I probably sound the biggest moaner ever but it's really hard for me to get through things like this. 

I'd love to be able to enjoy parties and talk with my family without getting intensely anxious but sadly I don't ever see that being a possibility for me. 

I need a tent or a lock for my door. 

Parents
  • 2 months ago

    Ninj,

    The tent thing sounds amazing and it's sad it "accidentally" got sold but I can see why your mum did it.  It'll be tough for her not having as much contact with you as she'd like because she sees the world her way so may not have a true grasp of just how awful loud parties are for most Autistic people.  I have some ideas:

    1. Could you come to an agreement that the music being played includes tunes you like?
    2. Could there be a rule that at a certain time, the music volume is turned down for the sake of you and the neighbours?
    3. Could you go downstairs to say Hi to people on the understanding that the music must be at a low volume and you are allowed to dictate how long you stay there for?
    4. Could you go out for a walk in nature or hang out in the garden to decompress after you've done the social thing?
    5. Could you put a "do not disturb" sign outside your door so people know not to come in?

    Is there a friend or relatives house you could hang out at instead of the above ideas?  Wishing you well. 

Reply
  • 2 months ago

    Ninj,

    The tent thing sounds amazing and it's sad it "accidentally" got sold but I can see why your mum did it.  It'll be tough for her not having as much contact with you as she'd like because she sees the world her way so may not have a true grasp of just how awful loud parties are for most Autistic people.  I have some ideas:

    1. Could you come to an agreement that the music being played includes tunes you like?
    2. Could there be a rule that at a certain time, the music volume is turned down for the sake of you and the neighbours?
    3. Could you go downstairs to say Hi to people on the understanding that the music must be at a low volume and you are allowed to dictate how long you stay there for?
    4. Could you go out for a walk in nature or hang out in the garden to decompress after you've done the social thing?
    5. Could you put a "do not disturb" sign outside your door so people know not to come in?

    Is there a friend or relatives house you could hang out at instead of the above ideas?  Wishing you well. 

Children
No Data