Meditation

Hello Kate.  Lovely to "see" you.

Ever the contrarian (perhaps)......after some reflection on this topic, over many years - and on the basis that I am, first-and-foremost, an analyst....it would appear that I can achieve a meditative state ONLY when I am in a form of "forward motion."

Driving works.  Jogging works.  Running works.  A train journey works.  Walking works.   Cycling works.

fwiw.....I would encourage you to keep trying to find a meditative state for yourself.  ALL the ACTUAL people whom I like, respect and cherish, seem to report (universally) that meditation (or a meditative state as I prefer to coin it) is VERY important to them.

Sometimes Kate, I just NEED - and I mean REALLY NEED to go for a walk or a drive.  When I return, I ALWAYS have more spoons and a calmer and "more in control" demeanour about myself.

As always, I wish you very well.

Kind regards

Number.

Hi Number - nice to see you too :) 

You make excellent points here - thank you! What I’m being very helpfully reminded of in these comments is that meditation can come in very many forms - the key is to find one that works for the individual. I’ve been listening to so much Thich Nhat Hanh and Plum Village and been too focussed on their specific practices - I need to broaden it out and be more open minded about different routes to similar ends.

I also find driving quite mindful (as long as it’s not too hectic/busy/challenging). My son (who is also autistic) particularly likes long motorway journeys. I used to do a lot of cycling - so I know what you mean about that too. 
I’ve been interested in Buddhism and meditation and mindfulness for a long time - but after a very traumatic sudden illness a couple of years ago these things now feel like a necessity for survival rather than just an interest. I’ve learnt SO MUCH in the past two years - and I feel so much wiser - but sadly still deal with a lot of anxiety etc. so I still have a long way to go to get to a point where I don’t feel burdened by that. And I have a son for whom day to day life is a huge struggle (he’s autistic, has Selective Mutism and very complex problems with ocd that even effect things like eating and drinking - very difficult for him and very difficult to try to help him with as the nhs have been woefully inadequate). 
I now feel like I have a much greater understanding of so many things - but the physical anxiety is so hard to tackle. I feel I’m trying to sooth a history of decades of anxiety and those neural pathways are very deeply worn. I had a very dysfunctional childhood (very f**ked up parents!) including a lot of time in hospital as a very young child - and so there’s a lot there and I don’t even know if it’s possible to be free of the impact of that. Is it just too hard wired? I just bought a very interesting book called ‘Flowers in the Dark’ by Sister Dang Ngheim - a Buddhist Nun who fled from war torn Vietnam and became a Doctor in the U.S - and then became a Nun. Her story is fascinating - I think the book might teach me a lot (hopefully). 

I agree with you that meditative practices of one kind or another are incredibly helpful and important. I have faith in this approach. I feel that so much in modern western culture/society is doing the OPPOSITE of mindfulness - there is so much distraction, so much competing for our attention, so much pressure. So little peace and trust - so much need for a vigilant mind rather than a rested mind. I feel caught amid a personal history of anxiety and trauma and a culture that is ever trying to stop us from having a clear mind and feeling contented. Capitalism demands that we ARE NOT contented - because if we are contented we don’t need to buy more stuff! 

Anyway - that’s a tangent - but it doesn’t help! 
One thing I am encouraged by is that when I come on here with this community there are so many helpful people who are trying to find a way to live well - and to help others - and often while dealing with so many challenges. I so appreciate that. Thank you for your help - and it’s good to hear that you have found things that are really helpful to you. I know what you mean about ‘NEED’ - it’s not a luxury to take care of ourselves - it really is essential. Thank you :) 

Hi Number - nice to see you too :) 

You make excellent points here - thank you! What I’m being very helpfully reminded of in these comments is that meditation can come in very many forms - the key is to find one that works for the individual. I’ve been listening to so much Thich Nhat Hanh and Plum Village and been too focussed on their specific practices - I need to broaden it out and be more open minded about different routes to similar ends.

I also find driving quite mindful (as long as it’s not too hectic/busy/challenging). My son (who is also autistic) particularly likes long motorway journeys. I used to do a lot of cycling - so I know what you mean about that too. 
I’ve been interested in Buddhism and meditation and mindfulness for a long time - but after a very traumatic sudden illness a couple of years ago these things now feel like a necessity for survival rather than just an interest. I’ve learnt SO MUCH in the past two years - and I feel so much wiser - but sadly still deal with a lot of anxiety etc. so I still have a long way to go to get to a point where I don’t feel burdened by that. And I have a son for whom day to day life is a huge struggle (he’s autistic, has Selective Mutism and very complex problems with ocd that even effect things like eating and drinking - very difficult for him and very difficult to try to help him with as the nhs have been woefully inadequate). 
I now feel like I have a much greater understanding of so many things - but the physical anxiety is so hard to tackle. I feel I’m trying to sooth a history of decades of anxiety and those neural pathways are very deeply worn. I had a very dysfunctional childhood (very f**ked up parents!) including a lot of time in hospital as a very young child - and so there’s a lot there and I don’t even know if it’s possible to be free of the impact of that. Is it just too hard wired? I just bought a very interesting book called ‘Flowers in the Dark’ by Sister Dang Ngheim - a Buddhist Nun who fled from war torn Vietnam and became a Doctor in the U.S - and then became a Nun. Her story is fascinating - I think the book might teach me a lot (hopefully). 

I agree with you that meditative practices of one kind or another are incredibly helpful and important. I have faith in this approach. I feel that so much in modern western culture/society is doing the OPPOSITE of mindfulness - there is so much distraction, so much competing for our attention, so much pressure. So little peace and trust - so much need for a vigilant mind rather than a rested mind. I feel caught amid a personal history of anxiety and trauma and a culture that is ever trying to stop us from having a clear mind and feeling contented. Capitalism demands that we ARE NOT contented - because if we are contented we don’t need to buy more stuff! 

Anyway - that’s a tangent - but it doesn’t help! 
One thing I am encouraged by is that when I come on here with this community there are so many helpful people who are trying to find a way to live well - and to help others - and often while dealing with so many challenges. I so appreciate that. Thank you for your help - and it’s good to hear that you have found things that are really helpful to you. I know what you mean about ‘NEED’ - it’s not a luxury to take care of ourselves - it really is essential. Thank you :)