Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
For a long time now I’ve been trying meditation to try to lower my anxiety and deal with the effects of ptsd, and also to improve my well being overall. However I have got to the point where I’m beginning to wonder if it can actually help me. I struggle so much to focus and to get my mind to calm and settle. I’m wondering if meditation is particularly difficult for autistic people.
Has anyone on here had much success with meditation? And if so - what kind of meditation practice did you use? I’d really appreciate some advice on this. Part of me feels that I might as well give up with it because all that’s happening now is that I feel like a failure for not benefiting from something that so many other people say is so wonderful. Thanks :)
If you are unfit in the gym, you probably need to work harder to get fit, and then it is about maintaining. Then you can start lifting heavier weights and climb the stails without getting out of puff. If you have an overactive brain, the same probably applies in order to get a "fitter" brain. My experience is baseline levels need to be on the side of reasonable to begin with. ie you can't go to the gym if you have a broken leg. I found meditation difficult when in stages of high anxiety or whatever the hell it was. I am not explaining myself well as its the middle of the night. I have sent you a PM.
You are ‘explaining yourself well’ - you make a very good point! Yes - I’m dealing with very high anxiety levels, traumatic memories and resulting dips of depression - and that’s probably not the best foundations to learn how to meditate (or at least makes it harder to get going). Your comparison of trying to exercise with a broken leg is a very good one! I've had anxiety for decades, then heightened by a traumatic experience (severe illness) and mentally I probably have two broken legs to be honest! At its worst it’s definitely a threat to my life - because sometimes I feel I can’t go on living like this. But I really DO want to live - and to live well - and I think that it’s possible (I dearly hope it is). And I do think that meditation and Buddhism has so much to offer in terms of finding peace and acceptance of the challenges we all face in life (and I think autistic people deal with so much). thank you for your help :)
Kate Kestrel said:really DO want to live - and to live well - and I think that it’s possible
Definirely a good start!
You don't have to focus on the breath. You just need some THING to focus your attention on and bring it back when your mind wanders. This could be substituted with focusing on parts of the body such as in a body scan or yoga nidra. It could start simple like focusing on the water on your skin in the shower. It doesnt just have to be a set practice.
I used to have difficulty with expectation, whether I was doing it "right" or "in time" and the worry of being interrupted half way through made me worse before I had even started. Then if I had missed a few days I'd be annoyed with myself, and there were periods where I would avoid it because it was a demand on myself.
If the mind is like a puppy on a lead, some people have livelier and bouncier ones which need more training!
Thank you! I can really relate to this! Yes - I think my mind is more like the restless kind of puppy
And at times I do feel like such a failure because meditation ‘isn’t working for me’. You’re right - expectation - it’s part of the problem. I’ve always ‘worked very hard’ to try to feel better, and given ‘my whole self’ to things - and that isn’t always a good thing. I think I try too hard sometimes. I think it comes (possibly) from not feeling safe or emotionally supported as a child and trying to fix that. I feel I have to ‘make things ok’ - I don’t have any faith in the fact that they might just ‘turn out ok’ by themselves. Ultimately I think it comes down to not feeling safe. We spent some time by the sea last week - being by the ocean was very helpful. We live a long way from the coast - which is a shame because I do think it’s a very mindful experience to be by the ocean. it was absolutely wonderful - so freeing!