Published on 12, July, 2020
There are lots of things in the NT world that to me make no sense, like swearing, why is it bad? Why do people say that people who swear have poor language skillsWhy am I being difficult because I don't like Chinese food?
IN general why do people think that I dont' mean what I say and have to challenge me ridiculous stuff, like what to plant in my garden, I know what will and won't grow in it.
Why is it seen as respectful to drive at 40mph on a motorway when it's a hearse being driven, or just drive really slowly on a normal road?
Well, hearses were originally horse-drawn, often with an undertaker walking in front of it. Also, taking someone's remains to their eternal rest at high speed, like they had an appointment, seems illogical.
Martin said:Also, taking someone's remains to their eternal rest at high speed, like they had an appointment, seems illogical.
And terribly disrespectful.
There is a funeral parlour near where I live and there is always a chap who walks in front for a while before getting into the vehicle.
I find it quite moving.
I've seen a funeral in Portsmouth with a glass carriage and the beautifully dressed horses.
That's a very special experience.
Slowness and thoughtfulness are totally appropriate for remembering the departed.
terribly disrespectful.
Respecting the dead is what the funeral is all about - not just getting a slab of rotting meat into a hole in the ground as fast as possible.
The whole procession is the chance for people to show their respect for the person who died - to deliberately take time out of their day to slow things down, reflect on the value of that persons life and show you understand the social contract that everyone follows by following suit.
When there are horses involved then you have to be a complete a-hole to go whizzing by and potentially spook the horses anyway.
What it comes down to for us is that we tend to not "get" these social contracts - we need to have them explained and often ask questions "but why?"
Taking 5 mins to search online for an expanation is all it takes, so we don't really have an excuse in this day and age to not find out fast.
T said:If that were true, I don't know why extracting so much money from the bereaved is a central part.
This is just how human greed has crept into what is typically a very personal event - there is little competition for undertakers and they do charge a lot for what they do, but typically you have little choice and everybody expects you to follow the social contract and do it.
That is why lots of people have funeral insurance when they get older so it is not a cost to be borne by the survivors.
I have an uncle who lives in the highlands of Scotland and when his wife died (about 20 years ago) they had agreed to buy the coffin in advance (used for storing spare bedsheets etc at home) and when it came to the funderal he put the coffin in the back of his Volvo estate and drove to the cemetery where his sons and him carried it to the grave and lowered it in.
Very down to earth and he asked all the guests to not send flowers but to make a donation to the cancer charity that had helped her in the final stages of her illness.
You can buck the trend but it takes a lot of planning as there are lots of laws covering the handling of dead bodies and their disposal. Getting the right message out is also important to avoid being seen as a skinflint and/or weirdo.
Amerantin (former member) said:Assume you meant neurodivergent?
I did. Apologies for the mistake.