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my adult son will be tested for autism.

NAS92667
6 months ago

Hi, I have just heard today that my adult son will be tested for autism. I don't know how I feel, relieved, guilty, I don't know. I am so upset he has struggled all his life, he is 30.  Is anyone out there had the same experience and have any advice or can relate?

  • 3 months ago

    Hi NAS92667

    I too have a 30-year-old son. my son is currently undiagnosed. He is a troubled soul and has struggled through life at times.  

    Strangely I hadn't spotted his potentially autistic behaviours until he was probably mid 20's.  I think I have worked out why.  He was always very bright... gifted and talented through his school career. It wasn't until he reached around 16 that I found him more challenging to relate to. I guess puberty is a time where masking might be harder to do.

    Up until his teenage years I think I thought he was shy, awkward, never quite comfortable in his own skin. 

    We have gone thorugh the mental health system for diagnosises in the past ... which have been shockingly damaging.  One Consultant told him when he was 19 that he was a parasite on the back of his parents. Cry

    He is now apparently in the cue for diagnosis around autism/neurodivergence but we have already waited months, maybe years. 

    I can relate to your feelings of guilt about your sons lifelong stuggles. I dont know if it is the same for you, but I also beat myself up regulary about the times when the communication between us gets messed up.  It isnt easy navigating things.

    I hope your son gets the help he needs and you get the support you need too Heart

    Amanda x

  • 6 months ago

    Dear NAS92667,

    You may like to contact our Parent-to-Parent service, who offer a confidential telephone helpline, providing emotional support (via a one-off call) to parents and carers, of autistic children. (This includes grown up children). 

     

    The volunteers are all parents of a child or adult with autism and can provide a listening ear, understanding and a chance to talk things through. 

     

    You may like to talk about your child (or grown up child) who has received an ASD diagnosis, is awaiting a diagnosis, or maybe has identified signs of autism. 

     

    After the call, volunteers send information which may be helpful for that family.   

     

    You can find further information about the service and an online enquiry form here: 

    https://community.autism.org.uk/f/parents-and-carers/35263/guide-to-the-national-autistic-society-parent-to-parent-p2p-emotional-support-helpline 

     

    https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/parent-to-parent-helpline 

    Kind Regards,

    Rosie Mod