Published on 12, July, 2020
You are autistic. You meet a person you instantly click with and are strongly attracted to. You realise or are informed that that person is also on the spectum. You are aware that your shared neurodivergence may be the cause of your strong attraction. You think that getting together with an autistic person is either the only chance you have of ever having a truly working and deep relationship, or the worst idea you ever had. Which is correct?
(please don't reply that it all depends on the person, as that it is always true, regardless. Neurodivergence and relationships are the issue here. I'm tryiing to explore the pros and cons of partnering with another autistic person)
From my own experience being with an autistic partner didn't work out.
I'd say that navigating each others sensititivies is a major issue but there are loads actually - if you think about all the things that make us autistic - you can both share those, both positive and negative, and this can impact very negatively on the relationship in the day to day running of your lives.
However, communication styles are similar - we are both still friends and both precise in our language and straightforward in our intent with regard to conversation.
I have an allistic husband and conversation is difficult at times, but we work around each other in ordinary day to day living requirements very well.
Deciduous growth said:please don't reply that it all depends on the person, as that it is always true, regardless.
Yes, but it counts for a lot.
I haven't been in a great many relationships, but other ones with allistics didn't work out - it can't be all down to whether you are autistic or allistic for a relationship to work.