Published on 12, July, 2020
Well my post diagnosis was messy and the mute shut down and rejection of alll medical assistance was the out working of a failier of response that is typical of the mental health provisions in surrey. the few people I saw were ok and the psychiatrist did get me a step along but i was wel annoyed that his paper work was nessacary to qualify what i had been bleeting on about for years anf even now the system has let me drift off because i was traumatise dby the 40 questions it takes to get an assesment to go on the 18 month waiting list for therapy. PLEASE
So how was i exumed from my silence and driven from my pyjamas and the doldrums of indifferent failier and the contemplations of my own execution that I willing ly considered and rejected to continue what I saw as fsithful but self detructive choice to live.
Well She is called Foxy anad she is the dumped dog who escaped the battersey death nell, to become my little world of sucess on a different world view of things.
You can see her baby picture here
http://www.alldogsmatter.co.uk/?dogs-rehomed,7
I am up at 4 to keep the floor dry and when she eats I remember to, her walks and my medication go together and all in all we are a good team, I have to be the boss and eat first and have learned to shout or bark when I am not happy with realy bad behaviour, I am the one who is at the training classes she is well smart and had to go up a class.
The staff at the school responded in fine style to my iam autistic card and a few of them have first hand experience and experts in the friend and family line who would consult to help my challenges, which was overwhelming on the first day.
http://adolescentdogs.com/ have been exelent in their understanding and have been keen to help me keep a sfe and happy doe mostly I needed reassuring that i wass not breaking her in some way.
So I was lead out of the rock under which I crawled realy by a small bright inteligent Little Red Dog, called Foxy.
WB
When ther are no languages to bridge the devide it is the best of us as animals that we have in common, it is sad that we despise this beauty in ourselves as base and of no value or function, for I think it is the very antidote to all that ails us as a result of the toxicity of the life we call modern.
Seasonal turn, the sun is on it's way we are at the beginning of spring, I have been thinking about my time with a support worker, its a real challenge and still a blank in my mind. I have not had a budddy to connect with ever before as people dissapear always. But there has only one exeption to that and that is my lovely, who will celebrate 16 years together this month.
But that is the only connection to a human close up I have ever kept.
So I think i will be asking the support worker to help me start, this journey.
I have also been looking at the second real tree we have had this xmas season which has had me thinking about the notion of settlement and a sense of safety. To be safe ! is rather a new state to be in and one that is taking me a good while to reconcile as permenant or to trust.
I have realised that it has never been part of my thinking to be stopped or to be safe and i am et to trust it as a reasonable state to consider, this is not a trial but a matter of propper assesment, and part of the journey I have agreed to since returning to this country 4 ears ago.
So my Oaty friend it is good to share the journey with you.
Good to be talking. have a great new year.
NEW is a state of mind. REnew is the revisit to that state.