Published on 12, July, 2020
Well my post diagnosis was messy and the mute shut down and rejection of alll medical assistance was the out working of a failier of response that is typical of the mental health provisions in surrey. the few people I saw were ok and the psychiatrist did get me a step along but i was wel annoyed that his paper work was nessacary to qualify what i had been bleeting on about for years anf even now the system has let me drift off because i was traumatise dby the 40 questions it takes to get an assesment to go on the 18 month waiting list for therapy. PLEASE
So how was i exumed from my silence and driven from my pyjamas and the doldrums of indifferent failier and the contemplations of my own execution that I willing ly considered and rejected to continue what I saw as fsithful but self detructive choice to live.
Well She is called Foxy anad she is the dumped dog who escaped the battersey death nell, to become my little world of sucess on a different world view of things.
You can see her baby picture here
http://www.alldogsmatter.co.uk/?dogs-rehomed,7
I am up at 4 to keep the floor dry and when she eats I remember to, her walks and my medication go together and all in all we are a good team, I have to be the boss and eat first and have learned to shout or bark when I am not happy with realy bad behaviour, I am the one who is at the training classes she is well smart and had to go up a class.
The staff at the school responded in fine style to my iam autistic card and a few of them have first hand experience and experts in the friend and family line who would consult to help my challenges, which was overwhelming on the first day.
http://adolescentdogs.com/ have been exelent in their understanding and have been keen to help me keep a sfe and happy doe mostly I needed reassuring that i wass not breaking her in some way.
So I was lead out of the rock under which I crawled realy by a small bright inteligent Little Red Dog, called Foxy.
WB
When ther are no languages to bridge the devide it is the best of us as animals that we have in common, it is sad that we despise this beauty in ourselves as base and of no value or function, for I think it is the very antidote to all that ails us as a result of the toxicity of the life we call modern.
Hey sorry I have been missing in action. Things are getting pretty erratic here so my apologies.
I have let the boys have a day at the little school and it was a mixed review on my part. Despite O showing his 'tendencies' quite clearly I was surprised that the staff failed to spot his staring fixedly at the coat hooks and putting himself in a corner away from everyone, distancing himself from his peers.
On the plus side they were very clear and gentle in their guidance about what was expected and I think he may benefit from that. They other children were very kind and made extra efforts to include my boys, especially O and surprisingly he allowed them to guide him into sitting with them. They have a lovely outdoor space where they grow veggies and have cooking sessions where the children cook the produce they have grown. It has a more family oriented feel although what they would make of children with health issues like ours I have yet to find out...I honestly think you never do until you actually are fully ensconced.
We decided to give the little school a go. I have had many phone calls trying to pursuade me not to take the boys out of mainstream education and the pressure has been unrelenting. I have to say I am as yet unconvinced I am doing the right thing but I think there will be a lot less pressure on me if I give this other school a chance. I cannot see it will make anything worse.
On top of this the boys health has once again taken a nose dive and I am nursing a very poorly son at present..more steroids..so with that I had to cancel a meeting which was to arrange the boys transfer over to the new school. Once more because of the delay I am finding myself wavering and worrying.
So I will effect the transfer but once the children start we will monitor O carefully to see if there is any improvement in his feelings towards school and life in general..if it is still proving too much then out he will come and I will home educate him with a completely clear conscience. The last 2 weeks have been horrendous and I have been subjected to many outbursts of sheer anger, frustration and down right misery on his part. I will not allow this to continue indefinitely and am sorely disenchanted with the what I can only describe as institutional arrogance from the educators. They comment 'how will you cope when he treats you this way' but what they fail to see is that he is never this bad when he's not in school..OK it's sometimes problematic..but on a much lesser scale.
Ah well sorry again as you can see I am rather stressy..sometimes you try your best but never seem to please anyone.
Massive cuddles to Foxy and your good self..keep writing..and have you had your interview with Ms Greer et al yet?
Take care
Oatie