Published on 12, July, 2020
Well my post diagnosis was messy and the mute shut down and rejection of alll medical assistance was the out working of a failier of response that is typical of the mental health provisions in surrey. the few people I saw were ok and the psychiatrist did get me a step along but i was wel annoyed that his paper work was nessacary to qualify what i had been bleeting on about for years anf even now the system has let me drift off because i was traumatise dby the 40 questions it takes to get an assesment to go on the 18 month waiting list for therapy. PLEASE
So how was i exumed from my silence and driven from my pyjamas and the doldrums of indifferent failier and the contemplations of my own execution that I willing ly considered and rejected to continue what I saw as fsithful but self detructive choice to live.
Well She is called Foxy anad she is the dumped dog who escaped the battersey death nell, to become my little world of sucess on a different world view of things.
You can see her baby picture here
http://www.alldogsmatter.co.uk/?dogs-rehomed,7
I am up at 4 to keep the floor dry and when she eats I remember to, her walks and my medication go together and all in all we are a good team, I have to be the boss and eat first and have learned to shout or bark when I am not happy with realy bad behaviour, I am the one who is at the training classes she is well smart and had to go up a class.
The staff at the school responded in fine style to my iam autistic card and a few of them have first hand experience and experts in the friend and family line who would consult to help my challenges, which was overwhelming on the first day.
http://adolescentdogs.com/ have been exelent in their understanding and have been keen to help me keep a sfe and happy doe mostly I needed reassuring that i wass not breaking her in some way.
So I was lead out of the rock under which I crawled realy by a small bright inteligent Little Red Dog, called Foxy.
WB
When ther are no languages to bridge the devide it is the best of us as animals that we have in common, it is sad that we despise this beauty in ourselves as base and of no value or function, for I think it is the very antidote to all that ails us as a result of the toxicity of the life we call modern.
Falling in to the blues, for me the injury thing was a mix and very much depended on how i was at the time, I am, or have been a bit stoic about pain and can go all stuff and nonssence about it, fussing I call it because it attracts lots of questions that i did not know how to answer, these days its more about "Valuing myself" as if, A sudden changed sense of what is and what is not will derail the mind and the sommersaults this takes mentally are what drives me under the nearest ock to mellow in the dark and work out the references that have changed as a result of the whole experience.
Shutting out different things is all I ended up doing and that it seems has more to do with being able to sucessfully describe and communicate my expeience of what happened. Ordinary things enduce extraordinary responses that other people take for granted, I am not sure why there is this massive difference in experience but this is just one of the many components that add up to things seeming like a different planet.
I describe it as two people looking at the same tree from different sides, they both have similat reference points. i can see a tree but when it comes down to dtails completely different sides of the same thing are being communicated with words that sound the same but are being used very differently.
So even pain and physical vulnerability can be a trip, if this is accompanied with the realisation of being breakable, for the time this will require a great deal of thought to understand the implications of that. You could talk about the bodies amazing ability to heal itself and how it does that, appropriate to his age and grasp at this time. Asking if he feels dented, broken, scuffed etc will allow you to introduce a grade of hurt and pain instead of an on and off perception. You do realise this will be teaching by any other name.
To disstrust the system is wise and those bound by it who ae faced with an outcome that will reflect badly on them wriggle like worms on a hook, Go see this ather school and give it a propper appraisal be tough and ask about propper delivery, ask to speak to a mother or parent of a child that has the same or similar challenges to your children to see if its all pr or real.
Still carry on with the courage you found earlier, leaking faces is no bad thing it is the bodys way of expressing the minds voice, when words we have are not enough.
As for the 5 staff how unprofessional to ahve a delegation instead of a compassionate one to one with the head, I do hate the corperate gang culture that is so popular as if numbers and intimidation was the way to win; rather than an agreed recognition of the reality of a situation and finding a mutul point of progress for the benifit of the student. Bullying parents into innadequasy is not in my opinion the way to go.
As for notheing wrong they have that right but not as an excuse to negate their responsabilities. My sister was told the same tings and inthe end it came down to the fact tey did not want the hassle of statements, fundidng issues and extra staff and work. If they don't look it won't be therre sort of stuff, if the county has a policy of dissuadeing schools from these process and sets the bar high then they will just be budget matters. you could ask them the criteria and notification process for statemented children and special assistance for students, also the county policy on students presenting wiht the challenges oyur children face, start to make them work to keep you even if it's just to keep them so busy they leave you alon, don't expect a cornered snake not do try and bit you eigther.
So mop your face , take a deep breath, that wonky health if yours is not a super issue except it is proper bugging you, have you resolved why yet ? The stigma of less than perfect health in this hedonistic age is absurd and the health service is able in title only these days to be a participant in the real health of the nationds people, It is in the position at the moment of holding bace the tide whie the moon pulls the water to its higest as the poulations need and financial ability or innability colide to the poit that emergency stuff is mostly where it is at, witha few surviving departments haning on because they support this sand bagging of health.
I take it your brain hasn't fallen out, if steven hawking can lecture from his chair the you my sweet can teach from where you are and don't let the issue of your health diminish the fact that you can still deliver a tailored education fot the benifit of your children and their intrests better in your condition than all the other lot with their degrees and resourse put together. Watch out for dirty actics from the school who may have to cover their backs on the home school issue and loose funding too.
If they get nosy with the kids at school of pally and start asking questions and suddenly have a great intrest in how and what you are going to do, thet are not your friends and have not done you proud to date, character is character and it never changes much in my experience.
So chin up chuck, remember you can se straight, do know what you are doing and are now in control and get to choose, the implications other wise are just impressions to draw you to other peoples way of doing things and their resistance to your free choice, does that give you enough to quote at em and fly free of the shackles of implied innadeqacy.
Stand up breath and go forward strong certain and assured. stick to the central point of family, future and your choice, expertise is not exclusive to an educated degree aadn mums have gutted out thousands of years of raising, in the face of power hungry authorities who think they know best.
Who's idea of health are we persuing anyway.