Published on 12, July, 2020
Well my post diagnosis was messy and the mute shut down and rejection of alll medical assistance was the out working of a failier of response that is typical of the mental health provisions in surrey. the few people I saw were ok and the psychiatrist did get me a step along but i was wel annoyed that his paper work was nessacary to qualify what i had been bleeting on about for years anf even now the system has let me drift off because i was traumatise dby the 40 questions it takes to get an assesment to go on the 18 month waiting list for therapy. PLEASE
So how was i exumed from my silence and driven from my pyjamas and the doldrums of indifferent failier and the contemplations of my own execution that I willing ly considered and rejected to continue what I saw as fsithful but self detructive choice to live.
Well She is called Foxy anad she is the dumped dog who escaped the battersey death nell, to become my little world of sucess on a different world view of things.
You can see her baby picture here
http://www.alldogsmatter.co.uk/?dogs-rehomed,7
I am up at 4 to keep the floor dry and when she eats I remember to, her walks and my medication go together and all in all we are a good team, I have to be the boss and eat first and have learned to shout or bark when I am not happy with realy bad behaviour, I am the one who is at the training classes she is well smart and had to go up a class.
The staff at the school responded in fine style to my iam autistic card and a few of them have first hand experience and experts in the friend and family line who would consult to help my challenges, which was overwhelming on the first day.
http://adolescentdogs.com/ have been exelent in their understanding and have been keen to help me keep a sfe and happy doe mostly I needed reassuring that i wass not breaking her in some way.
So I was lead out of the rock under which I crawled realy by a small bright inteligent Little Red Dog, called Foxy.
WB
When ther are no languages to bridge the devide it is the best of us as animals that we have in common, it is sad that we despise this beauty in ourselves as base and of no value or function, for I think it is the very antidote to all that ails us as a result of the toxicity of the life we call modern.
afternoon my sweet, well done on the ass in your hands as well as it falliing off with laughter. I see the numpty issues never tire in the NT education department, what part of social issues and change do they not understand. DER,,,,,,,,
Plonkers united at it's best...........I hope you are armed and dangerous, drown them in pamphlets and lists of web sites and diagnostic references and then tell them you want a report in some unreasonable time, don't get mad get even...... and if at all possible have fun I reccommend outragous wellies, a hoodie and shades, along with an outladish cardi and chewing gum that should set them up with a million preconcieved ideas and judgements but may not help your case.
Foxy had a rough day as i want in to a full shut down and grumpy session, she tok off and went of with another dog and person, Dissapointment as tyou will know is not an autistic invitation to send on a day you want results, that was it for me If she wanted to go of blah blah blah, so I went to one command expectations and if she went to the dissy what me thing i had no truck with the matter.
It was a do as i say day and no messing about, she spent a good deal of it in the kitchen when she did not do as i asked and now I only have to ask once, but i was in tears most of the day, no reason no knowledge of why just face leaking all day. by the tim i was presented with her for a cuddle in the evening by my partner I wa in to absolute rejection mode.
Bundles of tears later I was forgiven in a trice and playing tug, my little red dog was full of love and bright eyes followed soon after, I have not seen forgiveness like that so quick, as a child My mother would make things a deal for days even weeks and some times there was never an end to the recrimination, i could be out in the cold and not spoken to for ages.
I guess that is where the ASD generationally sticks a bit harder, when i was in stoic mode and was as hard as nails i didn't notice but going all soft and doing the love thing, I get very messy at times.
No harm done and yesterday saw the off lead walks restored and improved as we met a stranger with a cool older dog, foxy was impecable played, came back and sought me out, obeyed leave commands and did not rear at other dogs as much turning away, so whilst I was all of a state at being tough, with some auty cobbled emotional terrets thing going on foxy got to see that she is in a clover bed and mummy is a tough cookie but chooses to be nice a whole lot.
Spare the rod.................. and spoil my pup ? So the learning thing is going along well and my four legged mirror is working well. She is closer and less demanding now.
Another sucessful off lead walk today too in the forest. her head is on the grow again. my tiny dog is not going to be so tiny, on the way to collie size and wondering if she will o the staffy widening thing. I am quite looking forward to that if it does happen me with my grade one and tattoos along with a megga obedient status looking dog what an image.
Till then and in case she tuns out to look like a wippet shape on steroids, I will enjoy the "cor i never seen a fox on a lead before" moments.
You are right about the teacher thing and it was my intention before the crash and my crisis, to see if i could work towards some small plot of land as i had designs for a place for Autys like myself to study bush craft, old rural skills and gardening, but as with all the great ideas I have had over the years since I ceased to be single and driven by the desire to fufill my own statements of intent whatever the cost, life just aint like that and I have no hope of ever returning from this point, I am not sure I would take the therapy if it was offered now I am way past help and as you know experts are few and far between.
They have not even concieved of the issues of autistic adults raided by autistic parents, and it is two decades of "I really care about the kids" till they get around to people with the issues I have had and have.
well oaty me mate, till its time to yak again have a good one and do the rebel in us all proud when you go in to school. remember you ain't the kid no more.
And congratulations to our envelope with lots of pages in ot we are regularly at the top or front of the talk stuff. A good thing indeed.
JOY is a persuit of great worth