Published on 12, July, 2020
Well my post diagnosis was messy and the mute shut down and rejection of alll medical assistance was the out working of a failier of response that is typical of the mental health provisions in surrey. the few people I saw were ok and the psychiatrist did get me a step along but i was wel annoyed that his paper work was nessacary to qualify what i had been bleeting on about for years anf even now the system has let me drift off because i was traumatise dby the 40 questions it takes to get an assesment to go on the 18 month waiting list for therapy. PLEASE
So how was i exumed from my silence and driven from my pyjamas and the doldrums of indifferent failier and the contemplations of my own execution that I willing ly considered and rejected to continue what I saw as fsithful but self detructive choice to live.
Well She is called Foxy anad she is the dumped dog who escaped the battersey death nell, to become my little world of sucess on a different world view of things.
You can see her baby picture here
http://www.alldogsmatter.co.uk/?dogs-rehomed,7
I am up at 4 to keep the floor dry and when she eats I remember to, her walks and my medication go together and all in all we are a good team, I have to be the boss and eat first and have learned to shout or bark when I am not happy with realy bad behaviour, I am the one who is at the training classes she is well smart and had to go up a class.
The staff at the school responded in fine style to my iam autistic card and a few of them have first hand experience and experts in the friend and family line who would consult to help my challenges, which was overwhelming on the first day.
http://adolescentdogs.com/ have been exelent in their understanding and have been keen to help me keep a sfe and happy doe mostly I needed reassuring that i wass not breaking her in some way.
So I was lead out of the rock under which I crawled realy by a small bright inteligent Little Red Dog, called Foxy.
WB
When ther are no languages to bridge the devide it is the best of us as animals that we have in common, it is sad that we despise this beauty in ourselves as base and of no value or function, for I think it is the very antidote to all that ails us as a result of the toxicity of the life we call modern.
Yo oats you is fine girl, you can rammble all you want i am just made up i am consistent and got someone to put my own mind in order with.
LMAO has me scratching my head so i guess i need educating in the short speak department.
My meter readings are around 420 so i am firing well I have to go to the mountains to get a better reading and with the air so dirty with car stuff and the rest i am on a hiding to nothing, I have stuff in the cupboard but I dump it as fast as i can, the choice is nice and I can reckon the importance with the meter readings being that low and as for muppet GP's.
Don't get me started. We are eons behind other countries while the GMC protects its fragile and worthless ego.
In the meantime the best of what has been learned over the last 300 years in westrern medicine that is based on what has been learned from the dead and now just beginning to learn from the living and the best and obvious that would fuel the health of a nation is side lined to the wealthy choice and depriving the masses of benificial choices.
Other countries manage to think in terms of mutual benifit to all and we still foster dog eat dog for the benifit of the wealthy minority. Bah don't get me started on the issus, I have listened to the detrements of classist policy and superior indogents among the eliteist and upper middle educated who have no idea of what it takes to live on a working low wage and get by.
I did not start off on the streets and hostels, anfrom seven bedrooms to a room in a holding hostel is a long long way from the privalage and benifits I was bullied for.
Well ding dong who is bantering on now.
Keep sane and store the chocolate in easy reach.
Foxy had what I now call a brain day, her head is on the grow. I have got breakfast with two eggs scrambled, it is small and it sets her up for the day, she is keen too. She has put back on the condition she lost when she went off the split daily food intake that is reccommended for her development.
It is time for me to get my act together and stand up from the crisis that has knocked off my feet. I used to just steel my self but this time i have needed to think about how I do that, not having my spine repaired has meant that I cannot do the things that have been my trade and focus for decades, I did want to teach at one time but I am not sure since I have struggled that my autism is too intrusive to this.
I have pretty much seen this as a lost pipe dream, I went to a adult teaching class introduction at brooklands college in weybridge the teacher said " parents dont want their children taught by someone like you" That was a kick but I am thinking that while I did not like to hear it perhaps there was substance to this. So now I am in useless limbo and never going to work again, I can't hold downa job. I am real FUBAR --( F*&%ed up beyond recognition) I have no idea where to begin and what other people are seeing I have no idea.
I rely loved the building but not the deadlines and pressure the old demand avoidance is a road to artistry, but that got killed off in secondary school by an old fart of a teacher who demanded young women were in a mold of her own. I never did the lady like thing. Couldn't afford the vulnerability.
Time to go or I will bash your brain all day good to catch up keep it coming we will do our version of sanity and therapy together.
For opportunity to be a reality there has to be substance to the intentions of those who offer anything. Isolation is preferable to deadends and false promises.