Published on 12, July, 2020
Well my post diagnosis was messy and the mute shut down and rejection of alll medical assistance was the out working of a failier of response that is typical of the mental health provisions in surrey. the few people I saw were ok and the psychiatrist did get me a step along but i was wel annoyed that his paper work was nessacary to qualify what i had been bleeting on about for years anf even now the system has let me drift off because i was traumatise dby the 40 questions it takes to get an assesment to go on the 18 month waiting list for therapy. PLEASE
So how was i exumed from my silence and driven from my pyjamas and the doldrums of indifferent failier and the contemplations of my own execution that I willing ly considered and rejected to continue what I saw as fsithful but self detructive choice to live.
Well She is called Foxy anad she is the dumped dog who escaped the battersey death nell, to become my little world of sucess on a different world view of things.
You can see her baby picture here
http://www.alldogsmatter.co.uk/?dogs-rehomed,7
I am up at 4 to keep the floor dry and when she eats I remember to, her walks and my medication go together and all in all we are a good team, I have to be the boss and eat first and have learned to shout or bark when I am not happy with realy bad behaviour, I am the one who is at the training classes she is well smart and had to go up a class.
The staff at the school responded in fine style to my iam autistic card and a few of them have first hand experience and experts in the friend and family line who would consult to help my challenges, which was overwhelming on the first day.
http://adolescentdogs.com/ have been exelent in their understanding and have been keen to help me keep a sfe and happy doe mostly I needed reassuring that i wass not breaking her in some way.
So I was lead out of the rock under which I crawled realy by a small bright inteligent Little Red Dog, called Foxy.
WB
When ther are no languages to bridge the devide it is the best of us as animals that we have in common, it is sad that we despise this beauty in ourselves as base and of no value or function, for I think it is the very antidote to all that ails us as a result of the toxicity of the life we call modern.
FREEDOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM !
foxy got to go free,eeeeeeeeeeee yesterday and I took her to a medow with good fences that a local dog owner told me about, a fine meadow, and one with flowers and grass so high that when I lay down I could play hide and seek which worked a treat.
Foxy was all off and running without a thought for the fact I could do something unexpected, but three missing in the grass events she proper checked after that. she came on myy whistle which I have practiced when she has been on the lead for the last two weeks, so she knows what I sound like with a good one and a bad whistle, it has taken me thirty years to master the art of whisteling with my fingers in my mouth and aal by trial and error, perhaaps my no being able to affortd braces for my teeth has its pay off now.
Coming to cal is a fly past for the first two or three goes while sh burned off steam but I got her to come to me by distraction of waving my hat and then did not detain her after a big fuss, so she gets the idea that a call is not always a pack up and go event.
Can she run, the wippet bit of her if there is realy any of that in her, is the lightening that must be stuffed up her butt. She runs like the wind and goes so fast that on tight turns she slides into her next run, Pentti Airikkala would be proud of the bends she puts out. ( famous rally driver, look on wiki )
I turned around on the paths and she worked out she had to consult me as to which way we were off to and that the path ahead did not mean we were going to use it.
I laughed so much at her she does this meerccat thing where she stands up on her hind legs to see over long vegitation, I have yet to work out how to have this as a command but have no doubt this will come in time.
She was temted to get a bit big for her boots and put her mouth around my hand when i went to touch her head or harness but I soon barked in a fashion that hed her in no doubt that I am still her big mummy dog and she is not quite all grown up yet just free for a bit.
I think at 26 weeks-ish this freedom stuff is advanced stuff for her age so I am very pleased with her, she certainly ate her supper and the missing of breakfast in the morning was not in evidence when she popped her pop bellie on the mat in the evening.
My partner is working a lot and came home very worse for the ware the other night, foxy and I took to bed and she came round my side, when the coordination was so poor that stuff banged a lot, and both of us left the bathroom, I decided neigther of us was cleaning up the mess around the toilet and kept her out the next day till I had checked and repeated the evenings poor efforts.
Foxy and the time and protection I show her seems to be an issue sometimes, at others it is reported that I am not understanding what is going on but I let this view pass without comment it is easier to have people think you don't understand than to argue the points of jealousy and guilt about being around.
My partner is doing such a big job and does not get to be home a lot and I am not always waiting on the mat, I am out with the fox and seeing the countryside that I ahve overlooked around here. Working this out will settle I hope soon, we all have the whole weekend together and foxy has a great sense of pack which she looks for, pining every morning when my partner goes off to work.
Foxy and I are curled up today and about to have some breakfast, with another day of adventures to be thought up.
We have a favourite for the back garden which is catching crickets which she has as a snack but we cleared the patch of them as they bounced off to safety.
Foxy likes to eat grass a lot both for roughage and for medicing as an emmetic, which I help her choose grass for. there is a fine art to picking the best bits of grass and knowing which is which for what job. I can kind of tell now which grass she is after by the way she eats and the patches she chooses to graze, so I get to help and do mummy things. I introduced her to wild thyme and marjorham yesterday which is cool as they are for upset tummy's. all good stuff on the same day.
we are seperated by our own ideas of connection and the expectations we place on our ideas of relationship. we have much in common but choose to embelish the difference not the similarities, when this is deeper that we prefer to go.