Published on 12, July, 2020
Well my post diagnosis was messy and the mute shut down and rejection of alll medical assistance was the out working of a failier of response that is typical of the mental health provisions in surrey. the few people I saw were ok and the psychiatrist did get me a step along but i was wel annoyed that his paper work was nessacary to qualify what i had been bleeting on about for years anf even now the system has let me drift off because i was traumatise dby the 40 questions it takes to get an assesment to go on the 18 month waiting list for therapy. PLEASE
So how was i exumed from my silence and driven from my pyjamas and the doldrums of indifferent failier and the contemplations of my own execution that I willing ly considered and rejected to continue what I saw as fsithful but self detructive choice to live.
Well She is called Foxy anad she is the dumped dog who escaped the battersey death nell, to become my little world of sucess on a different world view of things.
You can see her baby picture here
http://www.alldogsmatter.co.uk/?dogs-rehomed,7
I am up at 4 to keep the floor dry and when she eats I remember to, her walks and my medication go together and all in all we are a good team, I have to be the boss and eat first and have learned to shout or bark when I am not happy with realy bad behaviour, I am the one who is at the training classes she is well smart and had to go up a class.
The staff at the school responded in fine style to my iam autistic card and a few of them have first hand experience and experts in the friend and family line who would consult to help my challenges, which was overwhelming on the first day.
http://adolescentdogs.com/ have been exelent in their understanding and have been keen to help me keep a sfe and happy doe mostly I needed reassuring that i wass not breaking her in some way.
So I was lead out of the rock under which I crawled realy by a small bright inteligent Little Red Dog, called Foxy.
WB
When ther are no languages to bridge the devide it is the best of us as animals that we have in common, it is sad that we despise this beauty in ourselves as base and of no value or function, for I think it is the very antidote to all that ails us as a result of the toxicity of the life we call modern.
Trains, are a thing I can do much more since I ahve foxy to focus on and people are so busy being cute about her the scarey butch *** attached is not such an issue these days, how funny it is to me that peoles perseption of me has changed acording to the dog I have. What a pair we will make if she has a split skull and makes like a staffy more than a colllie in her mature state, we have no idea how she is going to shape up and I have noticed her eyes have popped out a bit again so her head is going to grow some more very soon. My brother in laws staffy all of a sudden looks like two breeze block slapped together and an air craft carrier for a back.
The porrage sound a great idea, how long do you soak it for I have a lot in the cupboard from the last buy one get two free deal at shopping. I would add gravey granuals to the water to soak, how much of each ? water to porridge ?
Foxy's new adventure was to get put in the deep water and swim, proper swim, my parner did the deed, I thought ther would be a dissapproval for days but quite the reverse she is looking at every spot to go in and refering to me to see if itmis an ok spot. Mind you she wanted to back up when i pulled on the harness on a bridge to draw her tp me away from passing people, i an in no doubt that she thougt that going in off that particular bridge was not a good idea, so i drew her too me and gave her a real firm hug for a good while so she knew I shared the sentiment about the bridge.
We were off out to do an errand yesterday in a big bit of rain drenched we were, the splashing water with the cars has always had her very wary, a past issue from before she came to us it is a real mark in her that I think will take a good while to change the imprint of; this had her backed out of her harness and free on a road with another puppy in the rain and cars swishing by, I did do the squeeky voice then and the firm unpannicked urgency had her drowned rat look slowly move towards me......."Don't reach too soon for the collar, don't move to fast....... slowly does it .. squeek squeek foxy, foxy good girl.............the slow firm grasp and the twist i put on the collar as she tried to back away again while I replaced the harness, PHEW, that was heart thumping. so I cuddled the damp soggy dog I love while I finished my yaking and we then resumed normal service with foxys bedraggled walk home.
Havw just broken up the indoor time with a firm massag for her and am off to make a coffee.
Courage is the choice to do that which is not familliar with confidence and without fear, regardless of any knowledge or lack of it.