Published on 12, July, 2020
I didn't like school much espech secondary because it was a huge school and I was bullied a lot
Primary school was ok at first because I went to a really small school which was actually an old building
This was it
It's since been turned in to flats sadly :(
My secondary school was monstrous lol XD I hated it from start to finish.
I enjoyed learning but I would have preferred doing it from home :)
Sometimes I miss school but mostly its bad memories.
In the hall at my first school we did a Christmas show and sang silent night together my mum has it on video it's a strange video because I'm only small and don't really look like me now.
My school was not a great time for me. I was bullied quite a bit.
I tried to become invisible, and the result was that even the teachers didnt notice me. I had two friends, but im not even sure if that is true. I have never spoken with them since leaving school.
I didnt understand why children were so cruel to me and each other. It opened my eyes to the idea that the world is a scary dangerous place. A theme that has arisen time and time again with my therapist. I am scared a LOT. Maybe all the time.
Yeah. School was hard. I have always done all of my learning on my own, so didnt ever really connect with a teacher.
I have always been terrified of failure, so never took part in any activities. Obviously all the other kids would be good at whatever it was, and i would be so bad everyone would laugh.
One funny thing. In the forced PE lessons when the captains would pick for teams, it would always come down to me and one other kid who wasnt the brightest spark. Pleasant enough, but never gonna be in a government think tank.
Well this one day the lad whos turn it was to pick looked at the other captain and said 'you have them both'.
So that sums it up. Me and this other kid were considered on par. Bottom of the barrel people. More of a hinderance to have them by your side, than to be short teammates.
Wow. I didnt realise i still cared about that. That sucks. I thought i was past that by now!!!! Lol
For me, the only thing worse than always getting picked last in PE was the day my grand total of two friends were in a school orchestra rehearsal and the PE teacher decided that was the best possible time to intervene... and I had to pick a team myself from 30ish kids who hated me and zero friends. I picked someone who tended towards indifference first and immediately ceded all decision-making to him
battybats said:I picked someone who tended towards indifference first and immediately ceded all decision-making to him
Brilliant management and delegation skills at such a young age
I don't think I was ever asked to choose. I probably wouldn't have been able to remember most of their names if I had.
It was pretty much accepted that I was always picked last, as I was a liability on any team. I was so clumsy I could fall over my own feet and couldn't catch a ball if my life depended on it.
The only time I briefly gained popularity in PE was the day I ran into the PE teacher and knocked her over. It was an accident honest!