Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi.
I'm getting married in June and I think the anxiety is going to kill me. I suffer from horrific anxiety and it's causing me so much grief. I get physical pain from it and have been hospitalised twice because of the pain, really embarrassing but the doctors and nurses are always more than understanding. The wedding will be full of family, probably really loud. I'm terrified. My partner is so understanding. He's already offered to push the date back until I'm ready but I think this will always be a problem for me!
If you've been married how did you cope and get through the wedding? My brain is all over the place, so many thoughts and worries all the time. I only got 3hrs sleep last night and I've got work tomorrow. *sobs*
I'm worried about my dress as well. I've gone for a vintage one as I thought it looks gorgeous and it was cheaper than a lot of others I looked at. I'm worried my mum will disapprove of this.
So many worries, so much stress. I wish I could hibernate and forget life for a while.
I just... didn't have a proper wedding! My partner and I had a civil partnership ceremony because then I wouldn't have to worry about things like vows, and we only had our mums there as witnesses, no other guests. This was in 2020 so we didn't celebrate with anyone else for a whole year afterwards, and when we did, it was only 25 people who were very close to us.
At the time I didn't have an autism diagnosis, but I had been diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder, and that was the reason I gave for doing things this way. I told everyone there was no way I was going to go through a big white wedding, though to be fair, I'd always said as much and my partner didn't want that either, so there was less pressure to do things a certain way.
I ended up wearing a reproduction 50s-style dress in black for the ceremony. I think my mum would have liked to see me in a white wedding dress but she did agree that it was my day and so I should look and feel like myself. You could always try on yours for your mum ahead of the wedding, as she might be more positive about it when she sees you wearing it.
Your dress sounded absolutely lovely! I wish I was having a black dress now :) I normally do wear older more vintage style clothes, I love the older fashion, it was so cool IMHO.
I really wish we were having your kind of wedding. Mine is going to be quite traditional with the vows but that's added pressure I don't want. I hope think your special day was very special and you both enjoyed it. The day and people is what is important.
Great idea on trying the dress with my mum. She'll appreciate that and I'm hoping she will approve when she's seen it.
Another member suggested anxiety meds so that can only help!
I was on anxiety meds when we did ours and it definitely helped! Whether you need something daily or just something to use on really scary days, it's worth considering.
Do you mind if I ask what they prescribed? And if they are effective? I’ve always struggled so badly with anxiety but the only thing my gp ever prescribed was anti depressants and they were terrible for me - horrible side effects. Thanks :)
Thanks.
I've been in touch with my doctor and she's prescribed some anti anxiety calming pills to use when I need them. I'm hoping they will work and make a positive difference.