Published on 12, July, 2020
I had to go into work this morning and deal with a customer, I can act really slick and spend 15 minutes talking in a way I’m expected to. It leaves me drained, my wife was with me and we went to the nearest supermarket afterwards, I know in hindsight, I shouldn’t have gone. The supermarket was very busy, I started to lose words in sentences and spike.
What I have noticed is in the entrances, there is always a charity collection, last week they had covered 3 different entrance points, I’ve noticed, the same people are there for different charities. What I really struggle with is that they actually approach people and ask for a few minutes of time, I find it a big struggle to engage, it’s hard sell. I can’t blurt it out to them but, I’m autistic, please leave me alone. They don’t want some change, they want a direct debit signup. It can upset my day for hours. I can leave feeling physically sick. Has anyone else had to deal with this?
Actually now I think of it a legally defined "group" of people obstructing entrances and exits is a fire hazard, and probably is illegal.
Market St in Manchester is full of them, even after 8pm, as I used to work there for 17 years - the council claims they can’t legally stop them but they won’t even try, even though I’ve seen them hassling tourists - they and the police are only interested in handing out fines to people for littering but they are too lazy to bother doing anything else - no one is allowed to object “because we are not allowed” and it’s the same with protests, religious stuff, etc - Sat from Midday - 8pm is a nightmare down there
My last supermarket was a busy store in the city centre and I honestly don’t know how I lasted there for 17 years before my redundancy in Sept 2019 - I tried to leave and do other things and get a transfer, but all I got was ridicule and bullying as I’d had prejudice and discrimination from the day I started long before my eventual diagnosis after I left, after being constantly screamed at by everyone on the Shop floor in front of customers to “be quiet” as I was deemed “negative” despite thier policies claiming otherwise in compliance with law - the other 2 people that I knew of who had autism were also treated horribly and were both sacked, one was falsely accused of theft from the store (“evidence” was “planted”) as I discovered later - things got really bad in the last 5-10 years of my being there and the bullying “discipline” got far worse, including by misuse of the disciplinary process which the in-house trade Union totally supported because of the partnership agreement (you had to join that trade union as part of your contract, renewed annually), the useless union being “yes men” for the management and when I left (despite knowing about redundancies at the start of 2019) gave no help nor support, as Shop stewards not there, head office gave no help and terminated my union membership the day after my redundancy date which I only found out about 6 months after I left when needing help with jobsearch
That sounds dreadful Roy, I don't mind doing a DD to charity but let us sit at our computers and do it at leisure for charities we prioritise, otherwise they should stick to holding a collection bucket and let folks come to them, I'm sure walking up to and accosting people in the street for money (for anything) should be illegal, surely it can't be charity if it isn't given freely with 0 coercion.To do that to you when you just need to get in and out of the shop is awful, sorry to hear you had to go through that Roy.
I rarely go to a supermarket these days, but the ones I can't stand, either charity or sales are the ones who knock the door. They are especially hard if they hardly stop to take a breath. My stock answer is I don't sign anything on the doorstep. It is harder if they stand close and don't leave as I then have to warn them I am closing the door.
I rarely go into shops, and if this happens, I just ignore them. I walk right by, or just say no thank you, or I already donate to the cause. (I give to charity shops, and shop in them, for example). I hate being accosted. And like you, I’m good at my job in customer service, though I suffer when I get home.
I’ve never thought these “chuggers” (as they are sometimes nicknamed in the media, it’s short for “charity muggers”) should be allowed, full stop. As an autist I share your feelings about being approached and find supermarkets to be an especially hideous experience every time, so the absolute last place they should be allowed. Also why would anyone give their sensitive financial information to a stranger on the street? an utterly stupid thing to do. I once looked into this practice in detail having been cursed by these people on my daily train commute to Manchester and established that the fees taken by these people are so high that it takes typically a whole twelve months of donations from an effected chug before the charity it is supposed to support sees any of the money. I hope the NAS don’t use this tactic.
Look straight ahead, focus on where you're going and be oblivious to them. As if you're wearing blinkers. When it's clear you're not going to engage they'll soon move onto the next person.
By the time I get to the supermarket entrance I'm always wearing my earplugs or noise cancelling headphones. I cannot cope with any interruptions to my focus and supermarkets are stressful enough to start with. It may seem harsh but I choose which charities to give to in my own time and in my own way.