How challenging is small talk for you?

Hah!

The kids at the school where I work like to laboriously greet me with the '' Good morning, how are you' thing, however here, it's not generally a small talk question.

Neither is talking about the weather, but with global warming it now is starting to be something that gets talked about, because it's getting that much more unpredictable. 

I think you are supposed to greet people when you come in, if someone is eating you are supposed to wish them a good appetite. I don't think people really see themselves as great small talkers here, other than to fi d something mutual to moan about, though the 'best' place for a non small talk zone is Finland - or so I've heard. 

I don't have much patience with chit chat at all, but I do see the point of looking for neutral topics. Better than having someone asking you really personal things that are none of their business or really going out of their way to use these personal observations to actively attack you! 

I always used to call small talk, ‘adult-speak’, as a child. It was only when I became an adult that I realised that it was not ‘adult-speak’, because being an adult, I still didn’t understand it..

Me too, I mean I can do small talk but it doesn't come natural and I don't enjoy it much, I prefer discussions like: if fungi can form a network can human consiousness ever achieve a similar state of being.

Hmm, not very difficuult tbh but that's because I have a pretty comprehensive script tree for the most common small talk topics: weather, traffic, what do you do for work/studies, did you see what was on telly last night, etc. And after that branches out I just try not to info dump and just give them a very competent but short version of my opinions if they accidentally wander onto one of my special interests.

Occassionally some things throw me for a loop though, like when a supposed NT does or says something really not NT because then they are off script for how I expect them to interact and have to try scramble sometimes to realign with where the conversation is going.

Disambiguation.....Peter, you have unwittingly become embroiled in some "beta" testing of our new friendly overload Askimet.  Please be aware that my tirade of filth is merely testing the "hair trigger" of our new friendly overload Askimet.  It's always good to understand what language and phraseology is deemed permissible from the outset, I feel.  Thanks for your unwitting assistance in this regard Peter.

Nope....there is quite a rig moral I go through to access this type of link so I don't often "click and hope"....it's not that I distrust the poster, but more a distrust of the permissions of the systems that operate to make everything so very easy for everyone.  Sorry to be a kill-joy. [How much do you want to bet that our spam-bot killers will now cage and torture this post for all eternity because of the words I have chosen to use here.  So there !  You Nincompoop son of a mother !! 

ah shame, I've considered using that song next time I try to ask a girl for a date. :P unless she's a nurse in which case this might be more appropriate https://youtu.be/O8E4XoAeVdw

Steven said:

How difficult or easy do you find small talk and general conversation?

Not natural, skip the small talk I much prefer and am at ease with deep talk!

No - I wouldn't.

Anything that comes from "Ace Rimmer" is not really to my taste Peter.

I'm more of a Red Giant than a Red Dwarf fan.

you might even say you are tongue tied

That would be good. Maybe one day it will be a proper thing - the blind get a guide dog and the autistic get a parrot for our social needs 

I can often struggle with small talk to be honest. I’m quite comfortable with silence, but others seem to refer to them as ‘awkward silences’. I think it’s more awkward to fill silence with meaningless chat personally, but not because I don’t want to hear from someone, more due to the fact that it’s another opportunity for me to misread a cue or get it wrong in some way. Interest often don’t align too in these moments, which doesn’t help. But I have learned that people just often want to talk and I’m good at listening quietly, so that helps from time to time. 

The times I find this especially hard and where I probably come across as rude is when I’m in a transitional phase of a day (e.g. when I’ve first arrived at work). I even find a simple hello hard to respond to when I’m trying to brace myself for the day of masking ahead. If somebody tries to chat to me about the weather or something then, I basically grunt and get out of there as quickly as possible. That time is so necessary to me, so I try not to feel bad about reacting in that way.

after 45+ years of not being good at face to face interaction, small talk and chit chat (very few friends to undertake this with anyway) i finally plucked the courage to talk to the Doc, still waiting the full assessment but the online test she gave me indicates a strong Autism likelihood. looking in to Autism really does explain a lot of how i am. so yh, small talk not really my thing

Catlover said:

 I also struggle to talk sense if I am faced with someone I find attractive,

I have suffered with this.  I have to explain, but the risk of sounding like a huge douche bag is high!  Now that I'm older and more relaxed, I think most women (and occasionally men) grant me the latitude of honesty.

If it’s strangers or people I know or those I work with it’s OK. I can do it. However, if the conversation gets too long, I feel the strain and want to exit. I start thinking ‘I’m not interested, I’m trying to work, I don’t care, why don’t you eff off’ instead of actually listening to them, then I get really tongue tied. I want to burst inside, but of course I mask wonderfully with a smile and interested look in my face. My hands will be in my pockets picking my fingers to shreds out of sight.  I also struggle to talk sense if I am faced with someone I find attractive, or who finds me attractive. 

For the most part, small talk is boring. Tell me something interesting about yourself instead please! That would keep me invested.

or these days a chat bot. chatGTP is meant to be very good.

I feel obliged to share with the community that my wife and I were just talking about service animals and I decided I need a talking service parrot that will sit on my shoulder and make small talk to people for me so I don't have to.

More challenging than my exams I.M.O  L.O.L 

at school when I'm paired say in science normally with Paige she says a lot trying to make small talk and i literally no idea what to say back. Its all one sided. She must think im so rude or just a idiot but she's never said anything. She's really nice but I'm sad because I cant seem to talk properly 

Luftmentsch said:

it's basically the same thing as grooming in primates

What an interesting observation. I don't think I've ever thought of what the point might be. Thank you for helping me open my eyes a little

Follow away! I have been known to set an example, but there are all sorts of risks involved in being me so on your head be it!

I'm sorry your estate agent is being a pain, I tend to imagine how horrible people's lives must be if they feel like it's necessary to treat others so badly. And then I end up feeling sorry for them because I'm an idiot