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How challenging is small talk for you?

Steven

I think people might describe me as being well-mannered. Though I try to be, it's not the flattering opinion it might seem but, instead, testament to my restricted behaviour in company - I have to follow conversational conventions, and politeness is such a convention. 

If someone asks "How are you?", then I can answer briefly or (far too) extensively; both might be viewed as autistic habits. None of this means I'm at ease in conversations, as cues and subtleties don't always make their presences felt. Most importantly, I have to remind myself to ask "And how are you?" in return; not because I don't care but because *making the conversational transition is a hard, slow process for me and doesn't spring to my mind immediately*. And all the while I'm conscious that mine is a limited life, one which limits fluent and interesting conversation. 

How difficult or easy do you find small talk and general conversation?

Parents

  • I can often struggle with small talk to be honest. I’m quite comfortable with silence, but others seem to refer to them as ‘awkward silences’. I think it’s more awkward to fill silence with meaningless chat personally, but not because I don’t want to hear from someone, more due to the fact that it’s another opportunity for me to misread a cue or get it wrong in some way. Interest often don’t align too in these moments, which doesn’t help. But I have learned that people just often want to talk and I’m good at listening quietly, so that helps from time to time. 

    The times I find this especially hard and where I probably come across as rude is when I’m in a transitional phase of a day (e.g. when I’ve first arrived at work). I even find a simple hello hard to respond to when I’m trying to brace myself for the day of masking ahead. If somebody tries to chat to me about the weather or something then, I basically grunt and get out of there as quickly as possible. That time is so necessary to me, so I try not to feel bad about reacting in that way.

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  • I can often struggle with small talk to be honest. I’m quite comfortable with silence, but others seem to refer to them as ‘awkward silences’. I think it’s more awkward to fill silence with meaningless chat personally, but not because I don’t want to hear from someone, more due to the fact that it’s another opportunity for me to misread a cue or get it wrong in some way. Interest often don’t align too in these moments, which doesn’t help. But I have learned that people just often want to talk and I’m good at listening quietly, so that helps from time to time. 

    The times I find this especially hard and where I probably come across as rude is when I’m in a transitional phase of a day (e.g. when I’ve first arrived at work). I even find a simple hello hard to respond to when I’m trying to brace myself for the day of masking ahead. If somebody tries to chat to me about the weather or something then, I basically grunt and get out of there as quickly as possible. That time is so necessary to me, so I try not to feel bad about reacting in that way.

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