Published on 12, July, 2020
I think that there are large parallels between the experiences of trans people and autistic people, so I thought it might be good to share some information on some of the problems trans people face and guidance on how to be a good ally.
I know it looks like a lot, but I hope it helps to increase understanding and compassion. If any other trans people who want to add to this, please do.
I recommend "Life isn't Binary." It's not autistic specific, but it's a great analysis on some interdectional ideas including gender, sexuality and disability. Link below if it works.
https://amzn.eu/d/3phxmeB
Thank you for this Glitter. I think a lot of people will find this both helpful and useful, myself included. I'm female but think I identify more as male. Not entirely sure. One thing for sure is though that trans people and LGBTQ need more support and understanding, it can be a lonely world at times. I'm lucky, the staff that are with me offer support to me for this as well. Nice to know that some medical staff are understanding with these things.
Thank you for sharing. This is a useful analysis.
I much enjoyed Laura Kate Dale's book Uncomfortable Labels and the opportunity she offers to see her autism, gender and sexuality through her eyes. Sadly, it's the only bio of its kind I've come across, I do hope more trans, non-binary and gender fluid people will in time educate us with their stories.
What’s solidarity?
I wish I could like this post twice tbh.
Solidarity.
Thanks, I have many trans friends at school whom I respect. Though my family are quite transphobic, biphobic, racist and ableist. (Mum doesn’t like trans people and to a lesser extent bi people, dad despises trans people and people with ADHD and dyslexia and Asian people, and my younger brother dislikes non binary people) I really hate it as an autistic aroace girl myself, and my mum calls herself a feminist (which doesn’t really make sense as feminism is about ALL women, not just straight white atheist/Christian neurotypical cis women). I would like to see some improvement tbh. It’s really dumb.
I always remember my mother telling me "why can't you be more like other little girls?" because I loved being outdoors, climbing trees, riding my bike and playing with bugs whereas my Dad just let me be "me" - it never made sense that my school friends liked hair and make up, boy bands and playing house whereas I wanted to just be outside picking apples from the park or messing around on bikes. Plus 'boys toys' were so much cooler than 'girls toys'. Luckily one of my other friends were a proper tomboy and I'd go over and we'd play video games and stuff :)
I now identify as non binary for exactly the reasons you describe. I've been enjoying playing with gender expression. There are so many things that girls are "supposed" to be that made me feel cross because I just didn't fit with them.
In future they will be ranked alongside the homophobes of the past. Nowadays you can't find anyone who was a homophobe but up until the 1990's the majority of the country was.
I know what you mean regarding not liking typical 'girl stuff' and questioning gender around that. I consider myself a cis woman almost by default because I don't really have any issues with it and nothing else seems to fit. I did wonder whether I was agender but for me it feels more like I am a woman and I just don't know why other people care more about my own gender than I do. It's just sort of there in the background.
It blows my mind how awful the anti-trans movement is. My trans friends are some of the loveliest people I know. The media doesn't help not does social media with the spread of misinformation and fear mongering.
I've questioned my gender for years as although I don't identify as trans, I don't really fit into the typical female category that society tells me I should be - if that makes any sense. I always used to say "I'm not a girl, I'm a rock chick" because it was the only way I could really identify with the fact I don't like typically female things but I don't identify as male. I'm rambling I know so I hope this makes sense?
Thank you! It's been a tough ride recently. I wanted to share a bit of positive education.
Congratulations on your journey!
I'll add one more point:
Referring to people as "transgenders" is incorrect usage. Transgender is an adjective, not a noun or a collective noun. Instead, use "transgender people," just as we use "autistic people."
Only just seen this, absolutely SUPERB, thank you so much for this post. I identify as entirely female and lesbian but am technically trans having been through the M to F process in the early 90s. I am one of the tiny number of us (less than 5000 out of maybe 400,000) with a gender recognition certificate, the transition process then was much simpler and quicker, so only 2 ½ years start to finish as opposed to 3 years to even get a first consultation now and heck knows how long to completion (however the individual defines that) plus there was actually much less prejudice and hatred directed at us. It is very sad to say that things have gone backwards not forwards for the trans community in recent times.
Emma she/her
Thank you. I could not have said it better myself
Transgenders is a sensitive topic for some. I don’t see why we shouldn’t discuss such things, we’re all adults, we’re all open to discussing how we feel about things like this. If you get angry or upset then take a break from the forum, no point in further enraging yourself and other people. I know how easy it is to get in conflict with other people online, but let’s be honest, we’re better than that. My opinions on transgenders are my own. I don’t have a problem with it, I say live and let live, enjoy your life as long as you can. I don’t like how some people shove it in your face, but that goes for everything as well. I don’t have a problem with anyone’s life choices but I do when it’s pushed in your face. I see a lot of posts on Twitter and FB, all good intended but losers who have nothing better to do with their time hone in on it and start trolling people.
IMO you should worry about your own life rather than worrying about someone else’s. Everyone on this world deserves to be happy, to be loved, to be themselves. Peace to everyone x.
Besides why wouldn't some males want to be female - we're the better and best gender.
I understand some females are transgender but that's what I said to my then brother now sister when she said she was trans.
Thank you Glitter.
"Treat people as people"
"Treat everyone with respect."
"Trust peoples judgement that they know who they are"
Long before my autism diagnosis, I’d come out as gay in my late teens during the 1980’s when I lived in Ireland and because of my background, I was never accepted by other gay people in Dublin, other gay men in particular, not least because I was raised an only child and came from Rural Ireland, Catholic background, working class and not allowed to attend Uni - after I moved to Manchester 20 years ago, it was even worse, because at the time, I was homeless for 6 months - the (hypocritical) prejudice and discrimination that I had endured from (within) the gay community, especially in the “non-profit” sector outside of the commercial gay scene, eventually caused me to cut all ties with the gay community 15 years ago and even led me to question if I was really gay at all - of course, I’d also had a severe backlash from family and others, some of whom were devout traditional Catholics, who came out with the usual stuff and crucially, that being gay was “not right for me” etc