Trans rights and prejudice

I think that there are large parallels between the experiences of trans people and autistic people, so I thought it might be good to share some information on some of the problems trans people face and guidance on how to be a good ally.  

  1. The only person who can tell if a person is trans is the person themselves.  They may have spent years learning to mask to fit in, just like we do.  They have kept large parts of themselves hidden in order to get respect and acceptance and avoid discrimination, just like we do.  
  2. They have even longer waiting lists than we do for "diagnosis." This diagnosis, "gender dysphoria," has been developed by cis people without personal knowledge of what being trans feels like, and is based on very personal details and pathologies.  It's either this or go private/self-medicate, which can be both dangerous and expensive.
  3. Cis is not a derogatory term, it just means not trans in the same way we might refer to allistics or NTs.  Being cis is a position of privilege because it gives people benefits that they take for granted.  Sometimes trans people get frustrated with a lack of understanding from cis people, but it doesn't mean that they assume all cis people are bad.  It's just that when you've faced a lot of rejection and insults for who you are, you might become more sensitive and cautious.  Sound familiar?
  4. Trans people are much more likely to have mental health problems or commit suicide than the general because of the way that they are viewed and treated.
  5. Use the names and pronouns that people ask you to. Calling a trans person by their old name (often called a "deadname") or deliberately using terms linked to the gender that they were assigned at birth is a mean thing to do and will upset them.  If you make an honest mistake, just apologise and try again.
  6. Don't ask details about a person's medical progress. That's personal, and generally it's not polite to talk about what's in someone else's pants or what medication they're taking.
  7. Trans people, just like us, are struggling to move away from negative stereotypes and towards understanding and acceptance.  Often transphobia can be disguised as "genuine concern."  JKR even used the fact that there is a high proportion of autistic people seeking to transition as a "cause for concern," managing to be both ableist and transphobic at once.  Some current headlines are being used to promote doubt and fear which is damaging to the progress being made in trans people being able to get the help and support they need.  
  8. There are trans men and non-binary and gender fluid people as well as trans women, but a lot of the anti-trans propaganda at the moment is based on trying to associate trans women with predatory males.  Arguments about bathrooms etc completely ignore the fact that trans men also exist.  If you apply the "you must the bathroom of your birth sex rule" then you're going to get a lot of people with muscles and beards going into the ladies!  Also some cis women look rather butch.  You can't make assumptions based on appearance alone.
  9. If we treat people as people, and stop making judgements about others based on what we think their genitals might be, then society would be a better place for everyone.  Treat everyone with respect.  Allow people to express themselves however they want in their appearance, mannerisms and roles.  Trust people's judgement that they know who they are, even when it's something outside of your own personal experience. 

I know it looks like a lot, but I hope it helps to increase understanding and compassion. If any other trans people who want to add to this, please do.

  • Thanks Glitter, this is a really informative and compassionate post.

  • Thank you for adding your voice. 

    It's tough for us right now, and so hard not to get drawn in to fruitless arguments.  Your encouragement means a lot.

  • As a non-binary (trans-neutral) person, I just wanted to say thank you. Transphobia, both overt and subtle, is so rife in this country right now, and very sadly some of that has made its way onto this forum. It's painful to see hate directed at a vulnerable, marginalised community in any context, of course, but when it comes from acommunity it's especially hurtful, because as you say we do have so much in common, so much to learn from each other, and so much scope for solidarity. So it's really a relief to see a post which thoughtfully, generously, and quite comprehensively unravels a lot of the underlying prejudice.  

  • It would be something (though not very much) if those politicians actually gave a damn about women's safety etc etc; but they're just using those important issues as distractions (as you state) and in the hope & service of gaining votes. They don't even have the courage of their so-called convictions.

  • That's a little more than I'd infer from it myself. There are certain rhetorical techniques that people use in propaganda that are designed to get thinking in terms of fear and prejudice without actually saying anything outwardly offensive.  That's where the "We're only concerned for women's safety, and the safety of our children" style of argument comes in.  It hints that there's something dangerous and immoral about trans people, without actually saying it.  And those kind of comments, made by gender critical activists like JKR, are having enough of an influence on wider society that it's now affecting government policies that will impact on trans lives.  

    I think that it's becoming highlighted as a political lately in order to serve as a decoy from all the things the government doesn't want people to think about, like the health care crisis and the cost of living and the workforces on strike.  Trans people and their rights are something that raises a lot of moral panic which makes for sensational news stories to be a distraction.  And where progress is made, like in Scotland, attempts are made to block that progress and it is framed as a positive step.

    I have very strong feelings on this, so apologies for the rant.

  • I'm non-binary, my wife is trans.

    I'm glad your sister found it helpful.  There's a great YouTube channel channel called Philosophy Tube which is presented by a trans woman and gives a lot of fantastic information on various subjects.  I've done a fair amount of research over the years, but I found this channel to broaden my perspective in many ways.  I recommend it!

  • people are using the fact that a lot of autistic people questioning their gender identity as a reason to stop trans people from getting the support they need, because of an ableist assumption that autistic people aren't able to understand their own identity

    I hope there's nothing sinister behind the attitude you've highlighted, because at first glance it looks like an agenda both patronising and political; basically saying: "Autists are stupid and so they're blameless but trans people are greedy, attention-seeking and troublesome".

  • Thank you, this is what I was hoping to achieve.  There is so much negative press going on at the moment, but I think that we have so much in common with trans people that we could be very good advocates for one another if we could learn to be allies.

  • This is true.  But people are using the fact that a lot of autistic people questioning their gender identity as a reason to stop trans people from getting the support they need, because of an ableist assumption that autistic people aren't able to understand their own identity.  

    The NHS recently publishes new guidance for trans youth, and there is a lot in it that is worrying.  It does not follow any of the guidelines set out by a trans-led organisations.  It also states there should be multidisciplinary teams to support autistic trans youth, which os great on theory but will only put more pressure on overstretched services and make it more difficult to access care.

  • Thank you for doing this. My younger sister is trans and autistic, she found this helpful. 

  • Thank you for explaining it all so clearly, ignorance is what happens before we learn and your post educates. When I was a child everyone watched black and white minstrels on tv and thought it was funny, we learned through education that it wasn’t acceptable. Cat Stevens wrote, “ we are only dancing on this world for a short while,” he got it right, be happy in your own skin.

  • It's particularly important, I think, because of the recent study showing the increasing numbers of Autistic trans and non-binary folks.

  • The acknowledgement is appreciated. 

    And yes, I'm bumping this to the top of the feed and I think that it's important for this viewpoint to be heard.