Trans rights and prejudice

I think that there are large parallels between the experiences of trans people and autistic people, so I thought it might be good to share some information on some of the problems trans people face and guidance on how to be a good ally.  

1. The only person who can tell if a person is trans is the person themselves.  They may have spent years learning to mask to fit in, just like we do.  They have kept large parts of themselves hidden in order to get respect and acceptance and avoid discrimination, just like we do.  
2. They have even longer waiting lists than we do for "diagnosis." This diagnosis, "gender dysphoria," has been developed by cis people without personal knowledge of what being trans feels like, and is based on very personal details and pathologies.  It's either this or go private/self-medicate, which can be both dangerous and expensive.
3. Cis is not a derogatory term, it just means not trans in the same way we might refer to allistics or NTs.  Being cis is a position of privilege because it gives people benefits that they take for granted.  Sometimes trans people get frustrated with a lack of understanding from cis people, but it doesn't mean that they assume all cis people are bad.  It's just that when you've faced a lot of rejection and insults for who you are, you might become more sensitive and cautious.  Sound familiar?
4. Trans people are much more likely to have mental health problems or commit suicide than the general because of the way that they are viewed and treated.
5. Use the names and pronouns that people ask you to. Calling a trans person by their old name (often called a "deadname") or deliberately using terms linked to the gender that they were assigned at birth is a mean thing to do and will upset them.  If you make an honest mistake, just apologise and try again.
6. Don't ask details about a person's medical progress. That's personal, and generally it's not polite to talk about what's in someone else's pants or what medication they're taking.
7. Trans people, just like us, are struggling to move away from negative stereotypes and towards understanding and acceptance.  Often transphobia can be disguised as "genuine concern."  JKR even used the fact that there is a high proportion of autistic people seeking to transition as a "cause for concern," managing to be both ableist and transphobic at once.  Some current headlines are being used to promote doubt and fear which is damaging to the progress being made in trans people being able to get the help and support they need.  
8. There are trans men and non-binary and gender fluid people as well as trans women, but a lot of the anti-trans propaganda at the moment is based on trying to associate trans women with predatory males.  Arguments about bathrooms etc completely ignore the fact that trans men also exist.  If you apply the "you must the bathroom of your birth sex rule" then you're going to get a lot of people with muscles and beards going into the ladies!  Also some cis women look rather butch.  You can't make assumptions based on appearance alone.
9. If we treat people as people, and stop making judgements about others based on what we think their genitals might be, then society would be a better place for everyone.  Treat everyone with respect.  Allow people to express themselves however they want in their appearance, mannerisms and roles.  Trust people's judgement that they know who they are, even when it's something outside of your own personal experience. 

I know it looks like a lot, but I hope it helps to increase understanding and compassion. If any other trans people who want to add to this, please do.