Driving

It just shows how different we all are. I know that it's common for people on the spectrum to struggle with driving.   For me it's the reverse ... being in the car on a long journey is precious time.  I'm one of those people for whom driving seems almost like a natural state of being. It's what is sometimes called a 'compensating' factor for me.   Believe me, I have plenty of the other sort, so I'll take what I can get!  

I passed my test at 17 and have been a high mileage driver - for business - all my life. One year, in the late 80s, I did 100,000 miles in one year, when I believe the average annual mileage for drivers was about 9K (you have to pretty much live in a car to do that!)

In my 20s, I had a client in Belgium, and would quite often drive over after work, stay overnight, have a meeting over breakfast, and be back in the office in London well before close of business. I can barely remember the client (who was OK, but had some seriously triggering colleagues), but I remember so many of those drives.

I used to get up early and drive to Carlisle for breakfast with a client who came down from Edinburgh to meet me, and again, I'd be back in the office sometime in the early afternoon.  Through London at 4am (the M25 was incomplete), minding the drunks coming out of the clubs, through Birmingham before the rush-hour started, sun-up would be somewhere on the M6 long before the conglomeration of motorway interlinks that it has now, stop for a pee at Charnock Richard services (far less obnoxious than it is now).  Rush hour would happen across the UK as I had breakfast with the client and by the time I hit Birmingham southbound I'd get through with no stopping because everyone was in their offices.  I had a little BMW coupe, then, which was my own, private space.  I loved it, and ordered the same company car (allowing for updates), every year, without even thinking about it, for nearly 10 years (apart from moving to boring four doors when I had a family and practicality called).   

Pre pandemic (and 30 years later) I was still doing about 40,000 miles a year (in a car more suited to an old git, tho). I don't drive as a job - I just need to drive, in order to do my job.  But I'd never have done a job which was just office-based, I'd have been unable to cope with that. I can well remember wanting to get out, urgently, and into my car, because of what I used to half-jokingly call "intensive people" in the office. I had no idea, then, that I was autistic; makes perfect sense, now.

For most of my working life about 5-10,000 of the annual mileage has been in the US and Europe.  I completed multiple advanced driving courses on two Continents (defensive, tactical protection, track driving, rally driving, rough terrain, high performance sports, snow, ice, single seaters, skid pan, karts, you name it). I did some of these through work but also paid for quite a few of them myself.

I've driven pretty much every type of car as well as trucks, vans, buses, tractors, motorbikes, quads etc etc etc. I've driven high performance cars on Thruxton, Silverstone, Bruntingthorpe, Brands, the Nurburgring, Spa-Francorchamps, Knockhill, Croft, and many others over 40 years, as well as ice-covered private roads (on courses) in Scandinavia, Alaska, and the Mid West.  In the loft, somewhere, there's a hold-all filled with little bits and bobs of tarnished silverware, for winning the odd little amatuer thing every now and then (but I didn't do it for competitive reasons, I did it to improve my driving skills). 

I learned to fly (and used that extensively for business), and I believe the same mental motivation that leads me to enjoy driving was in play when I flew.  I loved - absolutely, totally, loved - flying alone.  I have some precious memories of being at circa 15,000 feet above The Channel on beautiful sunny mornings, heading for a regular meeting in France, and it was best when no one was up there with me to spoil the peace of the moment; I'm there in my dreams, quite often.   

I had the same attitude - I did advanced flying courses, advanced meteorology, and studied every aspect of aviation obsessively.  My private pilot's license has now lapsed and I've since been diagnosed with depression so those days are over (it would be near-impossible to get through the annual medical).  But driving holds no fears for me and it can still be a way of de-stressing.

I don't dawdle but I am religious about speed limits - absolutely religious about it.  One of the ways I test myself is to always know the speed limit of the road I'm on. Always.  I let boy racers go, and facilitate their overtaking where I can (but have front-and-rear 360 degree cameras and twice in about 15 years have given footage to the Police that led to convictions for serious offences). 

I relax in the car (I don't mean I go to sleep - I mean I de-stress; I can drive 300 miles to a job, spend all day working on location, get a bit stressy about it all - very stressy with the wrong type of client - and can't wait to get back in the car, and shut the door on all that).

I'm not a cliche male 'driver' - I'm not macho (I'm definitely not macho, in any way at all, driving or not). I'm tediously law-abiding. If other drivers on the motorway annoy me I pull off for a coffee and a pee. I don't feel I have anything to prove, to anyone, but I believe that as a driver, you never stop learning. I've loved every bit of new tech that's come in to cars and I can't wait to understand it, and master it.

I do most (not all) of my driving alone, which doesn't bother me at all.  The car is my bubble, and I'll take any and every opportunity to improve my driving skills and challenge myself.  On a long journey I will do at least 30 minutes of continuous commentary (which you're taught to do on some advanced driving courses).   

One of the biggest fears for me about getting old is my goegraphical horizons shrinking, the walls closing in, and losing the ability to drive, at least to the level that would satisfy me.  Hopefully 15-20 years away, yet.   I'm not a poet, but if I was, I'd be moved to verse by a life-long love affair with driving, the experiences it has brought me, and the special moments I've had in, and around, and because of cars, all over the world.

It hasn't been my life, I have it in perspective, but it's been a much-loved part of it. (If you're still reading, then I'm sorry, and I admire your patience - here endeth the valediction!)

PersonAnon said:

I don't feel I have anything to prove, to anyone

Something we can all live by.

I have the same rule about driving, I've always been very law abiding and conscientious. If I see someone coming up behind and they're driving too fast, I start to slow down to close the gap, and force them to do the same. If they want to overtake, I try to allow extra space for them to do so. If they want to wrap their car/bike around a tree they'd better go and do it, and leave me be. I've been thanked by bikers before who have seen me making space for them to overtake.

I can see why driving is comforting to you - you're fully in control, and it's your own space. I understand totally.

Sounds like you've had quite an exciting life! I'm not very well travelled, but, maybe one day. I'm a bit uneasy about flying because of all those coughing people in close proximity, and there's always, always, either someone in front of you with the seat reclined for the entire flight or a kid kicking my ass for 9 hours (this happened once, asked the mother to please stop the child kicking (this was 3-4 hours in, couldn't tolerate it any more) and she said I'd ruined her kids holiday because he should be able to kick kick kick away, come on!)

PersonAnon said:

I don't feel I have anything to prove, to anyone

Something we can all live by.

I have the same rule about driving, I've always been very law abiding and conscientious. If I see someone coming up behind and they're driving too fast, I start to slow down to close the gap, and force them to do the same. If they want to overtake, I try to allow extra space for them to do so. If they want to wrap their car/bike around a tree they'd better go and do it, and leave me be. I've been thanked by bikers before who have seen me making space for them to overtake.

I can see why driving is comforting to you - you're fully in control, and it's your own space. I understand totally.

Sounds like you've had quite an exciting life! I'm not very well travelled, but, maybe one day. I'm a bit uneasy about flying because of all those coughing people in close proximity, and there's always, always, either someone in front of you with the seat reclined for the entire flight or a kid kicking my ass for 9 hours (this happened once, asked the mother to please stop the child kicking (this was 3-4 hours in, couldn't tolerate it any more) and she said I'd ruined her kids holiday because he should be able to kick kick kick away, come on!)

Ha ha!  I've had my moments, I guess, and tried to take them.  I turned down a big job offer once because it would have meant being office-based, and that would be a no-no for me. Yes, the whole thing is the car was my space.   I'm with you on coughing people.  Depends on the airline but with kicking kids, if you're in Economy, a quiet word with the Purser may get you upgraded to Business Class if there's room (they always want to keep the peace).