Published on 12, July, 2020
I've realised that people prefer it if I start with pleasantries, not just going straight to the point of what I want to say.
e.g. just now I went to get my recycling bin after it had been emptied. At least I thought it was my bin. I saw my neighbour getting into his car so I called 'is this my bin?' He looked blankly at me and said, 'hello, how are you? Haven't seen you for a while.' I was confused, I needed to know if that bin was mine or his. He was confused because he hadn't seen me for a while and wanted to say hello, not talk about bins.
Then it dawned on me, ta dahhhhhhhhhh! I should have said 'hello how are you?' Before launching into the questions about the bin.
I like to get straight to the point, never mind chit chat. Most humans prefer the chit chat first.
I hope this has been helpful
By the time I hit my twenties, I'd realised everyone else was "playing the game" by different rules to me, and that I was not comprehending their rules, or that those rules were non-sensical to my perspective. When my isolation and constant disappointment grew too much to bear, I eventually grew so mad that I made a half hearted attempt to kill myself in my mid twenties..
I was lucky enough to find (or be led to) the book "Games People Play" by a guy called Eric Berne. Reading and understanding some of that book literally saved my bacon, and gave me a toe hold in the normie world.. I did not find out that I was Autistic for another 35 years, so did not know why thigs were teh way they were for me, just that I needed soem tools to deal with other people, who all seemd to bcome equipped with built in insights that I didn't have.
I got on seemingly much better in normie world when I was deceitful and uncaring, than I did when I grew a conscience, I can tell you that! I was super popular at one point, the social hub of a large group of people.
All the time, masking frantically.. Normie world is hard and brutal covered in a thick layer of marshmallow. (Or something else that is soft and sticky, anyway)
Whereas I'm marshmallow covered in a thick layer of hard and brutal. Numerous people have said 'you're totally different when I get to know you, you're actually very kind.' Duh.
'you're totally different when I get to know you, you're actually
a nice person
I heard once
the only time ever someone told me he changed his initial first impression of me, which is usually impertinent