Published on 12, July, 2020
I've realised that people prefer it if I start with pleasantries, not just going straight to the point of what I want to say.
e.g. just now I went to get my recycling bin after it had been emptied. At least I thought it was my bin. I saw my neighbour getting into his car so I called 'is this my bin?' He looked blankly at me and said, 'hello, how are you? Haven't seen you for a while.' I was confused, I needed to know if that bin was mine or his. He was confused because he hadn't seen me for a while and wanted to say hello, not talk about bins.
Then it dawned on me, ta dahhhhhhhhhh! I should have said 'hello how are you?' Before launching into the questions about the bin.
I like to get straight to the point, never mind chit chat. Most humans prefer the chit chat first.
I hope this has been helpful
I don't know if this is off-topic or not, but I'm generally disinterested in neighbourly gossip or chit chat. Unless I know someone really well, it's an effort to be interested in what strangers or acquaintances chatter about without any pre-warning. I simply find myself smiling and nodding, and then, without thinking, blurting out, "Sorry, I'm late for [insert wherever I'm going]"
It's self preservation for me. I am usually alone at home all day, I need to be able to turn to my neighbours when I feel attacked or scared.
Also when my daughter was very ill, I was alone at home with her all day. I couldn't get to the shops for bread and milk etc, so I made friends with my neighbours and they would go to the shops to buy things for me.
That's a sensible approach. And it's important to have good support around you, in whatever shape it takes. I have some great neighbours, and we help each other. I regularly look after my neighbours cats and dog when she's away. It's just when they try to chat to me socially or about trivia that my interest declines. Unless it's relevant to the situation, I'm simply not interested.
Thanks, I wish real life people thought that instead of avoiding me like the plague.
That's great news. Just from reading the experiences you share with us all, Kiki, I know your family are blessed to have you. You sound such a strong, positive and loving human being who has faced so much and yet still remains authentic and compassionate.