Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey all, hope this is okay to post.
I’ve recently started to realise I may have autism - I originally thought it was ADHD but when I started looking at the crossover I realise that autism might be playing a role too!
I was just wondering what were the signs that originally made you realise you have/might have autism? Especially if you were diagnosed as an adult rather than as a child.
And a follow on question - looking back what did you do as a child that was likely due to autism? I want to get tested but seeing other peoples experiences I’m worried about the process - my memory is so rubbish I’m worried they’ll think I’m just wasting their time.
Thanks in advance!
I always felt like 'the weirdo', and got told that nearly every day 'you're so weird/ odd/ strange/ funny'. I researched autism and wondered if that was what I had, so I applied for a diagnosis. I was pretty surprised to get it, because 99% of the time doctors dismiss any symptoms I ask them about.
Looking back at my life it is very clear that I was 'the weirdo' but people accepted me as just 'that quirky girl' when I was young. After I started work, people began to be less accepting, and this has continued since. I feel like I stopped developing around 20 or so, while other people have just continued maturing and now I don't fit in.
Just to pick up on one point here, I felt that my development got stuck around 11. I still don't really feel like a mature adult, even at the age of 65. One slight advantage of that is that I feel too 'young' to ever really want to fully retire. I seem to look quite a bit younger than most people my own age too.
I understand that. I think I'm about 18 mentally. My 15 year old daughter is way more emotionally mature than I am. I'm sure she will outgrow me eventually. Actually like I outgrew my own mother emotionally come to think of it.
I am 52, but most people think I'm in my 30s. It is getting embarrassing tbh. I wish my hair would go grey and people would shut up about it.
its hard for me to think of myself as still capable of work at 62 !
My Gran was Houseproud to the nth Degree; which did my head in most of the time. Plus, she had no concept of boundaries. If she had nothing else to do, the same had to apply to all of us.
I was on an online meeting on Sunday afternoons; which clashed with her shopping plans. And she wasn't a pleasant shopper. However, I'm grateful to have given her a good send-off. Anniversary Mass for the family deceased this coming Saturday.
These women are just every woman I meet tbh. I'm the weirdo, so they stare at me blankly and move on talking about those interests, or whatever they like. I don't fit in, so I'm ignored.
I guess the you-do-you thing has just been ground out of me. 20 years living in a small village with hardly any friends, no family, no 'tribe', feeling mostly lonely and frightened.
I just keep to myself and away from the gang of people who don't like me. It's great practice for life when I'm an elderly widow. I'll be so used to being alone and doing my own thing, I won't notice! Stay at home mum life eh.
Who are these super-conventional women? I thought baby boomers were supposed to be a little more trendy?
I am not even sure the issue is about autism or neuro-typicalism, it just seems to me that most people are a slave to convention, which is a tyranny that engenders a herd mentality everywhere you look.
Thinking about retirement? Well, I am 62, still working like a dog, but I do hope to become freer a d freer of the need to keep up the day job.
I have had a window sill herb garden for years, and now, having a balcony, gardening is more of an interest, but then I went through a phase of liking gardening as a child.
Looking for a nearby goth night? Whoops, now that's not age-appropriate.
So whatever happened to the do-you-thing maxim?