Still Here

What do you think of your life, as you look back on it? Of course you may be here for another 20 years so it may be too early, but I wondered about your opinion.

Hiya

I definitely won't be here in 2 years - this cancer is always fatal and the chemo is the limiting factor - when my body gives up. I will die.   I will fight to the end.

While not trying to 'big myself up', I have burned the candle at both ends.     I identify strongly with Roy Batty.     "I have done things you people would not believe!"

I feel very, very cheated of the life I have worked so hard to create.    I've said before, I was months away from 'Life 2.0' and it's all been snatched away.

I spent most of my life oblivious to how very different I was to everyone else - blindly performing technical miracles 'for the greater good' without any recognition - while actually being used and manipulated by those benefiting from my achievements.

I remember every detail of my life - like looking at a huge array of photos.- It's frustrating to not be able to share the highlights and extremes with everyone..    

I'm sorry you feel cheated, it must be a horrible feeling. But I'm glad you did some amazing things and you're a Roy Batty!

Donald Trump anyone ? 

Reading 'The Logic of Collective Action' about freeriders and the tradgedy of the commons helped explain how my thinking didn't coincide with clearly how others think, and how they operate. You can see the role aspies play, working for the common good whilst others freeride, and why.

Plastic said:

Yes - I definitely think we have a 'lifespan' when in management - I've measured about 4 years before the narcissists and back-stabbers can get their heads around our very different management style and find ways to screw us over.   

Then it's time to pull the ejector seat handle before they move in to surgically destroy us. 

That has got me laughing so much ~ definitely, although they can't actually get their heads around the fact that the survival of the fittest delusion is an obstructive delusion, and that cooperation needs to occur in house for the company and that competition needs to be kept in the market place for profitable efficiencies involving the team as a whole.

It is just that they know how to high-jack or sabotage the operating protocols that everybody has to use, which unfortunately limits their own time at the top too ~ particularly as being corpse-climber careerists rather sets as such the back-stabbing examples for their own demise. Yikes!?!

It just staggers me how productively inefficient and economically unproductive that way of living is, but then compulsive addiction patterns are somewhat infamous for not facilitating open mindedness nor any real prospects for long-term good health and wealth. The survival of the fittest delusion is after all pathological and sociopathic.

Hay hoe!

I always hope more people might read things like this and start working out that greater efficiencies with much greater returns are way more healthy and way more viable. 

Ah!

That makes sense, the 4 years. Kinda tallys with me. Never thought the autism intersected here but it's clear I manage in a very different way to anyone else, always eye on the horizon, always impact foccussed, always able to juggle/see the whole thing in my head, always deliver under budget, on or ahead of schedule, high tech spec but more importantly does what's needed. But yes, i give no space to normies wanting their status n power n control, acting out whatever so become a target.

And yes, i burn out.

Yes - I definitely think we have a 'lifespan' when in management - I've measured about 4 years before the narcissists and back-stabbers can get their heads around our very different management style and find ways to screw us over.   

Then it's time to pull the ejector seat handle before they move in to surgically destroy us. 

Yes - I definitely think we have a 'lifespan' when in management - I've measured about 4 years before the narcissists and back-stabbers can get their heads around our very different management style and find ways to screw us over.   

Then it's time to pull the ejector seat handle before they move in to surgically destroy us. 

Donald Trump anyone ? 

Reading 'The Logic of Collective Action' about freeriders and the tradgedy of the commons helped explain how my thinking didn't coincide with clearly how others think, and how they operate. You can see the role aspies play, working for the common good whilst others freeride, and why.

Plastic said:

Yes - I definitely think we have a 'lifespan' when in management - I've measured about 4 years before the narcissists and back-stabbers can get their heads around our very different management style and find ways to screw us over.   

Then it's time to pull the ejector seat handle before they move in to surgically destroy us. 

That has got me laughing so much ~ definitely, although they can't actually get their heads around the fact that the survival of the fittest delusion is an obstructive delusion, and that cooperation needs to occur in house for the company and that competition needs to be kept in the market place for profitable efficiencies involving the team as a whole.

It is just that they know how to high-jack or sabotage the operating protocols that everybody has to use, which unfortunately limits their own time at the top too ~ particularly as being corpse-climber careerists rather sets as such the back-stabbing examples for their own demise. Yikes!?!

It just staggers me how productively inefficient and economically unproductive that way of living is, but then compulsive addiction patterns are somewhat infamous for not facilitating open mindedness nor any real prospects for long-term good health and wealth. The survival of the fittest delusion is after all pathological and sociopathic.

Hay hoe!

I always hope more people might read things like this and start working out that greater efficiencies with much greater returns are way more healthy and way more viable. 

Ah!

That makes sense, the 4 years. Kinda tallys with me. Never thought the autism intersected here but it's clear I manage in a very different way to anyone else, always eye on the horizon, always impact foccussed, always able to juggle/see the whole thing in my head, always deliver under budget, on or ahead of schedule, high tech spec but more importantly does what's needed. But yes, i give no space to normies wanting their status n power n control, acting out whatever so become a target.

And yes, i burn out.