I think I'm unloveable

I've been in one relationship that lasted 8 months, during which I didn't know I was autistic

Throughout the whole thing I cared about him but I always just felt awkward, and acted awkward. I never really had anything to say, we kind of just sat in silence most of the time watching tv or a movie. I can't make conversation and that is a huge part of a relationship, talking.

I don't think I'll ever be able to have a proper, successful relationship because I'm too awkward and never have much to say, which probably makes the whole thing weird. I loved being in a relationship and really want intimacy, I just don't think I can keep a bond with someone for long because I ruin it with how weird I am. I think I'll end up lonely forever, which I really don't want.

What can I do to stop ruining all my relationships by being awkward and quiet? I don't want to be alone

Parents
  • this is a tough one, was u ex autistic as well ? 

    but he must have seen something in u because  8 months is quite long so u r loveable. the issue is having conversations .

    can u get him back ?

  • I don't want him back, I think I was looking at him with rose coloured glasses and now looking back he wasn't a good boyfriend. He sexually assaulted me twice, which is another reason I don't want to get back with him. I just loved having someone I guess

Reply
  • I don't want him back, I think I was looking at him with rose coloured glasses and now looking back he wasn't a good boyfriend. He sexually assaulted me twice, which is another reason I don't want to get back with him. I just loved having someone I guess

Children