Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
I have been in a relationship for almost ten years with my partner. Apparently for the first year I lied and pretended to be into a loving relationship and when we started living together that all went out of the window on my part.
We have argued loads over the years about my lack of interest with intimacy. I started to speak to a counsellor who quickly suggested ASD. Now it all makes sense and when I said to my partner I didn’t understand what was wanted of me I wasn’t being a prat, I really didn’t understand.
I don’t feel the need for intimacy like my partner does. She feels unloved unwanted the list goes on.
I know what I need to do to make it right and after we have these discussions or I sit and listen, I do make an effort but then it is not on my radar any more and I revert and the whole cycle starts again. I do love her equally. It’s just I don’t need intimacy to make a connection but I have to understand that she does.
I’ve been trawling through the forums to see if anyone had posted anything similar but could not find anything.
I’m guess I’m looking for people in similar situations to me!
I guess there must be many people in your situation who love their partners very much but are not able to show the intimacy expected of them. Perhaps you could take your partner along with you when seeing the counsellor so she can obtain a better understanding about why you find it difficult to show intimacy, despite loving her very much. You are what you are and presumably she saw qualities in you that made her fall in love with you in the first place.